Truth be told, I am not usually one to watch The Bachelor. But when my roommates turned on the past season in the living room of our apartment one night I couldn't help but get hooked. As I watched with them every Monday not only did I find myself swept up in the the love story and the drama that is The Bachelor, but I also couldn't help but wonder what I would do if I was in that situation. In the end I realized I could never be on The Bachelor. Here are my reasons why.
1. Relationship or Competition?
The Bachelor women walk a fine line between fighting to find love and fighting against each other. Some contestants make me wonder if they want the Bachelor for who he is or just so the other women can't have him. This is partially due to the way the show is set up and the society we live in where women love to compete for attention of men.
2. The Drama
It’s no secret that every season has its own cluster of immature (psychotic) girls, but then there are the ones who manipulate and define a new level of crazy, stupid and mean. I want to crawl into the fetal position during confrontations and run away at the earliest convenience, even if I'm not directly involved. I hate the idea of hurting other people feelings. I would feel so awkward having to "steal *insert name* from you to talk" at a cocktail party.
3. Unrealistic Expectations for Life
I'm not sure if this is breaking news for anyone, but you won't be able to be whisked away to Thailand or Tahiti or whatever. When women say, "I feel like *insert exotic place* is going to be a great place to fall in love," do they realize it doesn't apply to the development of real life relationships? Most likely you will be living in a city or suburb, working nine to five. Do you know how freaking hard life can get? Also, The Bachelor only sees the women when they are all dolled up. My boyfriend is lucky if I look "nice casual" for a dinner out. Where are the sweatpants and messy buns?
4. Um...do you even know that you can talk to each other?
Even when you get a chance to have a one on one conversation on The Bachelor, it is on the coveted one-on-one date, a few minutes at a cocktail party after a group date, or a high-intensity, frantic moment before a rose ceremony. And in every one of these instances there is a camera in your face. I don't know about you, but I would be flustered if I knew a camera was recording my every word. How genuinely candid can you be? You know some of it has to be scripted. I can just imagine a producer coaching me through what to say, I would most likely say the opposite to send a clear message.
5. I don't like to share
OK, allow me to clarify. If one is in the dating game casually and not exclusively, then sure it's OK to date around or do whatever it is you want to do. You do you. But once it reaches a critical point down the line, it's just you and him, right? Right. Well, "The Bachelor" facilitates relationships at this very important stage. The "I'm not just in the here and now; I'm also picturing a life with you" stage. Except there are also ten other girls in the exact same kind of relationship with your man. No thank you.
6. Six Weeks to find a lifetime partner?
My mom always says a good rule of thumb is to date a guy for at least a year before you marry him. That is a solid amount of time when you are presumably at the time in your life when you are ready to settle down. She says you need to see how he changes over the seasons. The bachelor is filmed over the course of six weeks, which is a month and a half or roughly 45 days to determine the person you are going to marry. Need I say more? I think we can all agree that learning about another person takes more than sharing your interest, hobbies, and goals. You need to know the little things and how they all work together, and that just takes time.
