Disclaimer: May not be suitable for those who have experienced assault or those who are easily triggered. Thank you.
Last week, I found myself wanting so badly to write a piece on sexual assault because April was Sexual Assault Awareness month. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to type an entire article as I thought, "Maybe someone else will write about it," or "I'm not qualified to write this kind of article, I'm not strong enough." Then it hit me: This is my piece to write, I have a personal connection with the subject and I can't wait for someone else to publish it. This is an issue that can't be discussed one month out of the year and I'm not going to let it be.
You're watching "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit" or "Criminal Minds," cringing as you see another person get drugged and assaulted or being forced into relations by their supposed loved one. Yet you know that by the end of the episode, justice will be enforced and the criminal will be behind bars (mostly because Mariska Hargitay kicked their butts).
Too bad that what you're seeing is just a TV show. Too bad that in reality, only 3 percent of rapists will be punished; And that is just the assaults that get reported (Which is only 46 out every 100).
Now I know what you're thinking: "Why is she telling me this? None of this applies to me and it never will." Four years ago, I thought the same as you, I thought I was invincible. No one believes that it will be them or a family member or a friend of theirs. I didn't think it could happen to me. Yet that summer, right after I turned 18, by someone I knew well (as are 82 percent of assault in the US), for four months, I was drugged and assaulted. And no one else, including myself, knew anything about it until the post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) came about that fall. I reported it yet he never got into any sort of trouble.
I am not trying to scare anyone with this article, I am trying to help people see what can happen, from someone who it happened to. I do not think that many people realize the facts behind sexual assault other than what they may have heard about campus assaults. I wasn't on campus when it happened to me so that's obviously not all you should know.
People say it can't happen to men, yet one in 71 men in America are have been victims of assault and those are just the reported ones. Young adults in the age range of 18-24 years old are three to four more times as likely to be assaulted, whether they're in school or not. And please don't get me started on the people who say it's the victims fault for what they said, wore or whatever the case: it is never the victim's fault. Out of every six American women, one will be assaulted in her lifetime. She is a daughter, a sister, a friend someone. And so is that man that is too afraid to report what happened to him due to the stigma of being called gay, being told he should have fought off a woman or just not being believed.
Sexual assault is one of the worst crimes that can be committed. Four years after my experience and I've lost people from my life, I've lost jobs and my PTSD still affects me almost daily. But I am stronger because of what I've been through. Along with around 23.6 million survivors in the United States, I survived and I want to do everything in my power to help anyone I can in this situation.
If you've ever gone through this, please know that you are not alone. Also, if you know anyone who has gone through this please do not leave their lives. Losing one more thing because of something that was never their fault isn't fair. Be understanding, be willing to listen if needed and be ready in case it takes a toll on them. You may be their only ally.
Always make sure you and your partner are both consenting to what you're doing and if there is any doubt, don't do anything. You've seen the ads; It really is on us to stop sexual assault. Be an advocate, step up for the people going through this and step up for yourself. We can fight this together.
Resouces: https://rainn.org/, http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/
If you or someone you know is being assaulted or abused, please take note of these hotlines and websites.
In an emergency, call 911.
Rape, Abuse and Incest National Hotline
1-800-656-HOPE
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224, www.thehotline.org
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
