10 Real Questions From College Guys About Love And Dating

10 Real Questions From College Guys About Love And Dating

A once in a life time opportunity, to find out the questions college guys have about love and dating.
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“Your biggest problem is that you love being in love.” This is what my mom recently said to me while we were talking about my recent break-up.

After a failed attempt of trying to defend myself through five minutes of stuttering, I walked out of her office frustrated and silent. Then like clockwork, while texting one of my sorority sisters, she pointed out that I don’t need to have a love life, but rather flings.

So here I am laying in my bed, listening to "Only You" by Yaz (yes, the song is older than I am) thinking about love and dating. Is it really such a problem to be in love with love? Do I really need to just have flings? Then, I started wondering how guys felt.

I am like a deer in the headlights when it comes to figuring out how guys think and operate. After all, I have only really ever seriously dated two guys. Intrigued, and starting out as a joke, I sent out a Google Doc to all the fraternities my sorority has on GroupMe, asking guys to anonymously submit questions about love and dating in college. And guess what? They actually sent in questions!

Here it is ladies, the questions that the handsome college men of Purdue have about love and dating in college and my thoughts on them.

1. "If I like two girls and they both like me back, what do I do?"

I wish I could tell you who would be best for you, but ultimately, only you can decide that. If anything, I would tell you to be honest with them because if they find out about each other, they could possibly feel betrayed!

2. "How do you deal with having hardly any dating experience, especially in an environment where most people want to hook up?"

Just do you! It is 100 percent OK to not be looking for a hookup! I know I’m not. If anything, just live your life with your standards and goals in mind. It is easier said than done, but eventually, you will find the right person that is not going just want to hook up. They are out there, so don’t give up hope!

3. "Where are the non-crazy chicks at?"

Well, I don’t know where you keep meeting these crazy chicks but I am pretty sure Purdue University does not only accept “crazy chicks”. If you keep meeting these girls in certain environments (parties, Tinder, etc.), you should probably expand and meet girls in a new type of environment.

4. "How well does a girl need to know you before you ask her out?"

I mean, I would not just randomly go on a date with a random guy that came up to me on the street, but you could always go up to her and have a genuine conversation to get her number! No method of communication is better than in person! So go get ‘em!

5. "What if one person in a relationship has no sexual experience?"

Like I said above, THAT IS TOTALLY FINE! Particularly in college relationships, people make it seem that if you aren’t having sex, it’s not working out. Well, they are lying. I am willing to bet that a lot more relationships than what one thinks, are not having sex.

6. "Can you fall in love more than once?"

YES! YES! YES! Of course you can. Do you remember that feeling you had when you had your first kiss or first actual relationship? That was love! I also believe that there are many different types of love because the love you felt for your first girlfriend is way different than the love you will feel for your future spouse! It doesn’t invalidate that love, it’s just a different type of love.

7. "Do girls prefer to be asked out by the guy first?"

Yes. While girls often like to take control of situations, it is always nice to be approached by a guy first. It shows that you are genuinely interested in them and in the relationship, especially if you do it in person. (Do it in person!)

8. "Have friends with benefits ever worked in the history of mankind."

One word, two letters, very simple word- no.

9. "A lot of sorority girls have a lot of guy friends so how do I know if she’s being playful with me like with her other guy friends or if she’s actually flirting?"

I think if she had further feelings for you, she would treat you different or would tell you herself. Unfortunately, it sounds like you have fallen into the never ending void of the friend zone.

10. "Can you ever love someone new without closure of a past relationship?"

Yes, I definitely think you can. It really sucks and I would know because this has happened to me but you will live and love again another day. It may take time, but I definitely think it’s possible. There is no such thing as the perfect thing at the wrong time because the perfect thing would be perfect at any time.

While I received and overwhelming about of questions these were just my favorites! Actually, I had a lot of very similar questions. To answer the many questions referring to sex that I didn’t post, all in one statement, I am not a personal sex therapist nor do I want to be. Guys, either step up your game or stop making relationships and love all about sex because it is not all about that.

A shocking question that I received specifically for me was “Do you plan to be in a serious relationship by the end of college?”. At first, I kind of laughed, but when I truly think about it I don’t quite have an answer. I think ideally, in some perfect world, yes, I would love to be in a serious, committed relationship by the end of my time at Purdue (LOL chances of that happening though are looking slim).

I mean isn’t that one of the biggest stereotypes of college anyway? That we meet the person we will marry in college? But realistically, I would be okay if I wasn’t. Sometimes life happens, and if the love of my life isn’t at Purdue then he is somewhere out there!

There you have it, ladies, maybe guys don’t think all that much different from us. While it may seem impossible or that you aren’t finding the right person in college, I really just think it takes time. For both guys and girls, while waiting for that special someone, focus on yourself and your friends because that is who will always be there despite whether you are in a relationship or not.

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​An Open Letter To The People Who Don’t Tip Their Servers

This one's for you.
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Dear Person Who Has No Idea How Much The 0 In The “Tip:" Line Matters,

I want to by asking you a simple question: Why?

Is it because you can't afford it? Is it because you are blind to the fact that the tip you leave is how the waiter/waitress serving you is making their living? Is it because you're just lazy and you “don't feel like it"?

Is it because you think that, while taking care of not only your table but at least three to five others, they took too long bringing you that side of ranch dressing? Or is it just because you're unaware that as a server these people make $2.85 an hour plus TIPS?

The average waiter/waitress is only supposed to be paid $2.13 an hour plus tips according to the U.S. Department of Labor.

That then leaves the waiter/waitress with a paycheck with the numbers **$0.00** and the words “Not a real paycheck." stamped on it. Therefore these men and women completely rely on the tips they make during the week to pay their bills.

So, with that being said, I have a few words for those of you who are ignorant enough to leave without leaving a few dollars in the “tip:" line.

Imagine if you go to work, the night starts off slow, then almost like a bomb went off the entire workplace is chaotic and you can't seem to find a minute to stop and breathe, let alone think about what to do next.

Imagine that you are helping a total of six different groups of people at one time, with each group containing two to 10 people.

Imagine that you are working your ass off to make sure that these customers have the best experience possible. Then you cash them out, you hand them a pen and a receipt, say “Thank you so much! It was a pleasure serving you, have a great day!"

Imagine you walk away to attempt to start one of the 17 other things you need to complete, watch as the group you just thanked leaves, and maybe even wave goodbye.

Imagine you are cleaning up the mess that they have so kindly left behind, you look down at the receipt and realize there's a sad face on the tip line of a $24.83 bill.

Imagine how devastated you feel knowing that you helped these people as much as you could just to have them throw water on the fire you need to complete the night.

Now, realize that whenever you decide not to tip your waitress, this is nine out of 10 times what they go through. I cannot stress enough how important it is for people to realize that this is someone's profession — whether they are a college student, a single mother working their second job of the day, a new dad who needs to pay off the loan he needed to take out to get a safer car for his child, your friend, your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, you.

If you cannot afford to tip, do not come out to eat. If you cannot afford the three alcoholic drinks you gulped down, plus your food and a tip do not come out to eat.

If you cannot afford the $10 wings that become half-off on Tuesdays plus that water you asked for, do not come out to eat.

If you cannot see that the person in front of you is working their best to accommodate you, while trying to do the same for the other five tables around you, do not come out to eat. If you cannot realize that the man or woman in front of you is a real person, with their own personal lives and problems and that maybe these problems have led them to be the reason they are standing in front of you, then do not come out to eat.

As a server myself, it kills me to see the people around me being deprived of the money that they were supposed to earn. It kills me to see the three dollars you left on a $40 bill. It kills me that you cannot stand to put yourself in our shoes — as if you're better than us. I wonder if you realize that you single-handedly ruined part of our nights.

I wonder if maybe one day you will be in our shoes, and I hope to God no one treats you how you have treated us. But if they do, then maybe you'll realize how we felt when you left no tip after we gave you our time.

Cover Image Credit: Hailea Shallock

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12 You Should Know About Your Significant Other After You've Been Dating 12 Months Or More

You have multiple food orders memorized.

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Dating someone for a year+ means that you are bound to know things you might not have known in the early months of the relationship. You also might act differently than you did at the beginning of the relationship.

Here are 12 things you know when you've been dating for over a year.

1. Clothing size, shoe size

This one you can probably be able to figure out early in the relationship. But, you start to keep in the back of your mind and think of that person when you see clothes or a pair of shoes they might like.

2. You can guess what they are going to text back

Especially if it is just a casual conversation about nothing in particular. You know their go-to responses.

3. You have multiple food orders memorized

Their food orders, of course.

4. You have that one TV show you can put on and neither of you will complain

And that is "The Office."

5. You don't get jealous

How could you have lasted in a relationship for over a year and not have any trust?

6. You know likes and dislikes

And can assume if they are going to like or dislike something.

7. You got a LONG Snapstreak

474 day streak over here.

8. Their successes make you just as happy as it makes them

Seeing your significant other do well and accomplish something great is just as rewarding as if you had done the same.

9. Your friends are his friends and his friends are your friends

And you can all hang out together.

10. You have your favorite restaurants

That we always end up going to.

11. You've met everyone in the family and extended family

And you feel like part of the family.

12. You know extremely personal things about each other

That you would not necessarily share with the public.

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