10 Real Questions From College Guys About Love And Dating

10 Real Questions From College Guys About Love And Dating

A once in a life time opportunity, to find out the questions college guys have about love and dating.
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“Your biggest problem is that you love being in love.” This is what my mom recently said to me while we were talking about my recent break-up.

After a failed attempt of trying to defend myself through five minutes of stuttering, I walked out of her office frustrated and silent. Then like clockwork, while texting one of my sorority sisters, she pointed out that I don’t need to have a love life, but rather flings.

So here I am laying in my bed, listening to "Only You" by Yaz (yes, the song is older than I am) thinking about love and dating. Is it really such a problem to be in love with love? Do I really need to just have flings? Then, I started wondering how guys felt.

I am like a deer in the headlights when it comes to figuring out how guys think and operate. After all, I have only really ever seriously dated two guys. Intrigued, and starting out as a joke, I sent out a Google Doc to all the fraternities my sorority has on GroupMe, asking guys to anonymously submit questions about love and dating in college. And guess what? They actually sent in questions!

Here it is ladies, the questions that the handsome college men of Purdue have about love and dating in college and my thoughts on them.

1. "If I like two girls and they both like me back, what do I do?"

I wish I could tell you who would be best for you, but ultimately, only you can decide that. If anything, I would tell you to be honest with them because if they find out about each other, they could possibly feel betrayed!

2. "How do you deal with having hardly any dating experience, especially in an environment where most people want to hook up?"

Just do you! It is 100 percent OK to not be looking for a hookup! I know I’m not. If anything, just live your life with your standards and goals in mind. It is easier said than done, but eventually, you will find the right person that is not going just want to hook up. They are out there, so don’t give up hope!

3. "Where are the non-crazy chicks at?"

Well, I don’t know where you keep meeting these crazy chicks but I am pretty sure Purdue University does not only accept “crazy chicks”. If you keep meeting these girls in certain environments (parties, Tinder, etc.), you should probably expand and meet girls in a new type of environment.

4. "How well does a girl need to know you before you ask her out?"

I mean, I would not just randomly go on a date with a random guy that came up to me on the street, but you could always go up to her and have a genuine conversation to get her number! No method of communication is better than in person! So go get ‘em!

5. "What if one person in a relationship has no sexual experience?"

Like I said above, THAT IS TOTALLY FINE! Particularly in college relationships, people make it seem that if you aren’t having sex, it’s not working out. Well, they are lying. I am willing to bet that a lot more relationships than what one thinks, are not having sex.

6. "Can you fall in love more than once?"

YES! YES! YES! Of course you can. Do you remember that feeling you had when you had your first kiss or first actual relationship? That was love! I also believe that there are many different types of love because the love you felt for your first girlfriend is way different than the love you will feel for your future spouse! It doesn’t invalidate that love, it’s just a different type of love.

7. "Do girls prefer to be asked out by the guy first?"

Yes. While girls often like to take control of situations, it is always nice to be approached by a guy first. It shows that you are genuinely interested in them and in the relationship, especially if you do it in person. (Do it in person!)

8. "Have friends with benefits ever worked in the history of mankind."

One word, two letters, very simple word- no.

9. "A lot of sorority girls have a lot of guy friends so how do I know if she’s being playful with me like with her other guy friends or if she’s actually flirting?"

I think if she had further feelings for you, she would treat you different or would tell you herself. Unfortunately, it sounds like you have fallen into the never ending void of the friend zone.

10. "Can you ever love someone new without closure of a past relationship?"

Yes, I definitely think you can. It really sucks and I would know because this has happened to me but you will live and love again another day. It may take time, but I definitely think it’s possible. There is no such thing as the perfect thing at the wrong time because the perfect thing would be perfect at any time.

While I received and overwhelming about of questions these were just my favorites! Actually, I had a lot of very similar questions. To answer the many questions referring to sex that I didn’t post, all in one statement, I am not a personal sex therapist nor do I want to be. Guys, either step up your game or stop making relationships and love all about sex because it is not all about that.

A shocking question that I received specifically for me was “Do you plan to be in a serious relationship by the end of college?”. At first, I kind of laughed, but when I truly think about it I don’t quite have an answer. I think ideally, in some perfect world, yes, I would love to be in a serious, committed relationship by the end of my time at Purdue (LOL chances of that happening though are looking slim).

I mean isn’t that one of the biggest stereotypes of college anyway? That we meet the person we will marry in college? But realistically, I would be okay if I wasn’t. Sometimes life happens, and if the love of my life isn’t at Purdue then he is somewhere out there!

There you have it, ladies, maybe guys don’t think all that much different from us. While it may seem impossible or that you aren’t finding the right person in college, I really just think it takes time. For both guys and girls, while waiting for that special someone, focus on yourself and your friends because that is who will always be there despite whether you are in a relationship or not.

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Plan These 13 Dates For Your Girlfriend This Fall And Thank Me Later

Listen up, guys.

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If you are a boy and you are reading this, plan one of these dates and you'll make your girlfriend the happiest person alive. Yeah, you can thank me later.

1. Go to a pumpkin patch.

This may be super basic but who doesn't want a cute little pumpkin around Halloween time. Usually, you will take a hayride to the pumpkin patch which is always a nice time to spend together. It will also be really cute seeing how excited she gets over finding the perfect little pumpkin.

2. Go on a hayride.

If you go to a pumpkin patch you may have the opportunity to go on a hayride and you definitely should! You will get to see all around the farm and the scenery is usually beautiful in the fall with the leaves changing colors!

3. Go apple picking.

This date will always allow for a cute photo shoot opportunity and everyone will be able to see your Insta post later captioned "the apple of my eye." Also, if you love apples what better place to get them then a local farm where you pick them yourself! Make sure you check your local farm to see when your favorite apples will be ready for harvest!

4. Bake something together.

There are so many amazing recipes for fall, apple pie being one of them. Which will be the perfect thing to bake with your S.O. after apple picking (two dates in one)!

5. Go to a local festival.

No matter where you are from there are probably a ton of local festivals around you throughout the fall. Whether it is a food festival, fall fest, music festival or even a lantern festival all of them are usually a perfect date. You can experience new things together and enjoy the fall weather.

6. Go to a football game.

Whether it is high school, college, or a professional football game any football is good football in the fall. Between a fun tailgate and an exciting game, if you are into sports football is the way to go.

7. Walk or hike around a state park.

No matter where you are from there are always state parks around you! Fall is the perfect time to go on an outdoor because it's not too hot to too cold. The scenery is always beautiful with all of the leaves changing colors. If there is a lake you could always go kayaking or paddle boating!

8. Visit your local farm.

A lot of local farms have fresh veggies, apples, baked goods and of course pumpkins! Also, check and see if your local farm has any fall family days. On those days they usually have a lot of fun activities, animals, hayrides, corn mazes, pumpkins and if you're lucky they'll have amazing apple cider donuts!

9. Stay in for a cozy movie day.

With Freeform starting their 31 days of Halloween this leads to the perfect excuse for a night on the couch. Pick out your favorite Halloween movie, make some popcorn and have some warm apple cider while cuddling up on the couch.

10. Visit a haunted house.

If you are down for something a little scarier then a Halloween movie, check out a haunted house near yours. It could even be a haunted hayride or haunted corn maze.

11. Take her out to breakfast.

Girls are always down for a cute breakfast date. Especially when you can roll out of beds in your sweats and keep them on in the cozy fall weather.

12. Spend a night carving pumpkins.

Once Halloween rolls around you should grab a cheap carving supplies kit, roll up your sleeves, and carve a cute pumpkin together. Whether you write your initials or create a jack-o-lantern it will probably be full of fun memories of pulling out pumpkin guts.

13. Go to a Halloween party.

Take some time and hit up Pinterest for a super cute couples costume and eat all the candy you possibly can!

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Sure, Condoms Don't Feel As Good As Nothing, But Nothing Feels Better Than Safe Sex

You want to do it, but at least be safe.

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Let's talk about sex.

Condoms are great. I love them. You should too. They reduce the chances of pregnancy and contracting a sexually transmitted infection. When you're doing it with a person you met online or met just recently in person, they're the cheapest form of protection. They're not 100 percent reliable when it comes to minimizing the risk that a sperm fertilizes an egg and that zygote implants itself in your uterus, so I like taking another form of birth control just as a backup. Watch season 1 or 2 of "Weeds" if you want to be spooked a bit.

The academic year has just started, and if you're meeting new people who you want to have sexual relations with, it's important that respect is established. You're letting someone use parts of you for sexual pleasure and vice versa. They're not entitled to those parts, and if someone wants to use a condom, don't argue with them.

It doesn't matter what kind of birth control they have, or how good they are at pulling out. It's scary when accidents happen, and it's scary to see your body changing and not knowing if it's just weight gain or pregnancy, or it it's a heat rash or an infection you may be spreading to others.

I've had potential sexual partners refuse to wear condoms, and I left them because I wasn't going to let them inside of my body because, "the condom was too small." As a woman, I can't leave a pregnancy like guys can, and if given the choice to protect myself from contracting a sexually transmitted infection, I will take it, and I won't let anyone try to make me feel guilty about it.

No one should have to convince someone else for respect, especially when you're participating in an act where so much could happen physically, not to mention emotionally. Most people probably feel the most vulnerable when they're having sex. It might not be the case for all people, but if someone asks to use protection, don't argue with them about it. And if someone refuses to listen to you and respect you, walk away. There are plenty of other people out in the world who will respect you, and you shouldn't have to settle for less when your health can be affected.

When I first started dating an ex and he found out I had an intrauterine device, he immediately started putting together a presentation about why we should stop using condoms. It didn't matter to him when I said I didn't fully trust my IUD or that I was very uncomfortable with not using them. If he decided he didn't want to pull out, and my IUD failed, and I would be the one who got pregnant and had to deal with it, not him. He could choose to be supportive and stay with me through it, or he could block me on all social media platforms and Spotify.

It was a red flag that he didn't respect me, but that made me realize I didn't fully trust him. If he respected me, it wouldn't have been up for debate, and he wouldn't have tried to use my birth control against me to make me think I was being irrational. It's correct that IUD's are effective 99.9 percent of the time, but I didn't want to be the 0.01 percent who experience its failure.

Condoms don't feel the best (yes, girls feel them too), but I prefer using them because I feel safer, especially if I'm engaging in an intimate act with someone whose sexual history I don't know completely.

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