Actual Nice Guys Do Exist, But We Don't Come Easy

Actual Nice Guys Do Exist, But We Don't Come Easy

We are out there, but there are reasons you can't find us.

2372
views

Guys hear it all of the time from their female counterparts, especially good guys: "My guy is rude and we're going to break up," or we hear, "Now that I'm single and have had my heart broken, I'm wondering if there really are nice guys out there." Yeah, well there's something to this and it might surprise you.

First off, the numbers game, because if you have read any of my articles, you know I like to use numbers and statistical data to make my points and arguments. Here is one that will blow your mind: as of 2017, the last time they actually processed the numbers, we had 7.53 billion people on Earth. 7.53 BILLION! That's a real number-look it up! Google it! I promise it is there and let's face it, Google is so advanced now, it finds everything and practically knows everything. Dig a little deeper in this and you will find that 49.5% of the world are females. That means that there are more guys than girls on planet Earth and the numbers game is actually more in your favor than ours.

So, what's the problem? Well, there are a few avenues we can take in asking why. First and foremost, the standards you have set might not be the same kind of standards that are truly in your heart. It's true: girls like bad guys for whatever reason, but c'mon you don't marry the bad guy if you really want it to last. Secondly, you might be settling with that kind of attraction and you're better than that and you probably don't even realize it!

That is a truly scary part because chances are, you're worth way more than that and you just haven't realized your self-worth, at least on the surface. That's not bad though, that's part of life. Finally, it isn't all about you and your faults, nice guys have them too.

We've been burned by girls we've adored, and we've been hurt by them too.

We have experienced toxic relationships just like you have and you're not wanting to see guys like that. Chances are, you've already friend zoned a guy that has always wanted to date you or is really worth your time and you just didn't pay attention.

Timing is everything and if he isn't shy, he hasn't asked you out yet because he either has reservations that he's not the guy you're looking for at the moment or he's got his own stuff going on trying to better himself. These guys love being your friend, but chances are have wanted something better because he's already seen you on the other end of being in the same position he has. It's not that he isn't trying to be assertive, he would be. However, he's thinking "well even though she's my type, I'm clearly not hers" and that's a real thing, ladies.

Nice guys may not be jerks but that doesn't mean they are betas. Some of us like to hunt, fish, go to the beach, drive really fast, ride rollercoasters, shoot guns at a range, or going to the bar to have a couple of beers. There are a lot of alpha males that do manly things (such as grow a beard and listen to metal music) and still are just genuinely nice.

Here's a huge disconnect in relationships: many women consider a nice man, is a weak man.

That's not true either. You cross a nice man, you'll know it and you'll see a different side of him when he's angry. He'll be temporarily the guy you broke up with before him. The difference is he'll apologize to you and actually mean it. You'll realize he was just mad and that was a temporary thing because in the back of your mind you understand that you finally achieved in getting what you were looking for.

Giphy

There are nice guys who fit both of that criteria that will adore you for who you are, spoil you in a way you've probably never experienced before, and love you as much as a boyfriend can that in some ways (not the creepy way) remind you of that care that your father has for you. Because ultimately that's what you want right — a guy you know your dad would like and an ultimately a guy that you'd be proud of introducing him to your dad? You don't want your dad second guessing your choice like when Brian Cranston gets pissed at his daughter for bringing James Franco home in "Why him."

What I'm saying is for whatever the reason you might not realize, you have absolutely been settling. I'm telling you to STOP! Stop settling and showing yourself you don't deserve better because you do. You want that cheesy happily ever after and ending you see in romcoms and Hallmark movies? Realize how valuable you are and what you can bring to a relationship with a nice guy. You're not settling by picking a nice guy if that's truly what you want, you're getting a forever, not a Friday.

Unless there's something special about you, people do tend to not open up too fast and there are reasons for that. If I do, then you're extremely special and when I mean extremely special, I'm talking you're a pearl in a mountain full of empty oyster shells. Sometimes I come off bored or disinterested. That means that I'm playing my hand or I'm debating on whether this is gonna go anywhere — try harder.

Nothing worth having is easy: you gotta fight for it.

Popular Right Now

An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
178012
views

Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

4 Basic Rules You Need To Know While 'Dating' More Than One Person

Dating: the stage where you are talking and testing out the waters with someone else.

221
views

Here is the thing about dating: you're not married, nor are you boyfriend and girlfriend.

Dating is when you're just testing out the water with a few people until you decide who you're going in a relationship with.

Dating happens when you're interested in a person and vice versa. It's when you find them attractive, so now you have to figure out the personality. To be "in a relationship" would mean to be boyfriend and girlfriend.

Here are some of the basic guidelines about dating that everyone should know:

1. You can date multiple people.

You're not in a committed relationship with anyone. You're going out with this man to see if this relationship will become a relationship, and you're allowed to date multiple people to see which one is the best one for you.

You're checking out the fishes in the sea and checking which shoe fits better. It's like being a bachelor or bachelorette. Honey, during the dating phase, you can do whatever you want.

Although, I should tell you not everyone is going to appreciate you dating other people, but who are they to stop you from your one true love? The proper way to go about this is letting the people you are 'dating' know that you are seeing other people until one of the relationships gets serious.

Side note: a real man will respect the honesty and understand. Time is ticking and doesn't wait for anyone.

2. If you're going on the fifth date with the same date, it's time to upgrade.

So, what I mean by this is that if you're on your fifth date, either end the date and begin a relationship, or move on to other people.

If by the fifth date, you're not feeling something unexpectedly particularly special with this person and if you're not clicking with them, then it's time to move onto other fishes, hun. And if you are but you're scared to commit, then admit to the person that you have a commitment issue. And that's fine, but let them know so they're not hanging on for no reason.

3. Dating does not mean one-night stands.

Now, if you're looking for a one-night stand, then dating is NOT what you're looking for. I'm sure some one-night stands can always turn into relationships, but sex always makes things complicated. So, next.

4. No sex during dating!

Like I said before, sex makes things complicated and it results in several test results and concerns.

If you're dating, you're there to see if the person is good enough so that you can be in a relationship with them and maybe then have sex. You naughty people. But I won't stop you.

If by all means, sex is one of the top things you need to have a healthy relationship, then by all means, I support you 100%. But ma'am, if he's having sex with you on the first night, imagine who else he's done on the first night. Think hard.

Related Content

Facebook Comments