What It's Like For Men To Be Singles In Their Mid-To-Late 20s
Start writing a post
relationships

13 Thoughts A Man Ponders When He's Single In His Mid-To-Late 20s

It's important to take time to rejuvenate and refill. It's too easy to forget that because men are told that they should suck it up and keep going.

188
13 Thoughts A Man Ponders When He's Single In His Mid-To-Late 20s

Dating is something that doesn't come naturally to every man out there. In fact, some never master it at all, while others get it down pat like learning how to walk. There are people who date as though their life depends on it (me, laugh out loud) or those who couldn't give two thoughts about wanting to settle down.

Here are 13 thoughts every man experiences when he is single in his mid-to-late 20s.

1. Wow, I really suck at relationships.

If you're thinking this, I want you to be aware that you're not the only one. I know that doesn't necessarily make you feel a whole lot better, but before you can really be great at relationships, it takes being able to consistently have the hard-headedness and soft-heartedness to have the conversations with the one you want (confidence). That's probably what the hardest thing is since your confidence can easily take a big hit at the first shot to the heart. (Also because you've had enough of people telling you to suck it up. If you wish that to people you might as well be able to have it dished to you as well. Hint hint.)

2. I don't know if I'll ever be able to have a long-lasting relationship.

You think about those around you who have been in relationships for three-plus years and are younger than you, and your singleness at your current age makes you feel like you can't make it happen. It's a really sad feeling since you're also jealous of those who are making it happen. You question yourself and your ability to love a special woman the way those around you have loved their baes for a long time.

3. I wish I learned how to date sooner.

Some men in their mid-to-late 20s weren't taught how to date, where their parents didn't date each other at all. Their parents didn't show them how to be physically affectionate, or about love languages, or even how to treat a woman right. Some men have to learn this all on their own so their viewpoint of what is or isn't right is flawed.

4. I don't feel like opening up to people.

It's incredibly difficult to tell people about your struggles. Even if you have the courage to open up, you still feel like there's something weighing you down. There are people who will make you feel small for having your issues, which makes things worse than they already are.

5. I wonder if dating is even worthwhile anymore.

It might take a long time before you even think about putting yourself out there again, if ever. Sometimes you need to just have people to talk to, regardless of whether or not you want to date them.

6. I'm a prude.

It's just so easy to self-deprecate and look at all your shortcomings when you've struggled at something for long enough. On the other hand, it's important to remind yourself that these are learning experiences, no matter how hard they are for you to face head-on.

7. I'm not really a man.

This is more of the self-deprecating nature that a lot of people resort to. Those who are in their mid-to-late 20s and are single probably feel like they've failed in some way since they believe in deadlines with regard to dating.

8. I'm not dateable anymore.

Even though the 25-30 age range is still a prime dating age for men, some of them have tried time and time again for years without much success, and it feels like they've burnt out. It's important to take time to rejuvenate and refill. It's too easy to forget that because men are told that they should suck it up and keep going. Especially from those closest to them (family).

9. I'm better off on my own anyway.

This is perceived as a sign of giving up, or a sign of self-love. It's sad to see people giving up on finding love at a ripe age of 25 and you don't even have to experience multiple relationships to feel that way. You could have close family tell you certain things and condition you to believe them, making it harder to be vulnerable with beautifully-hearted people of the kind you're attracted to. It's hard for you to see that for whatever reason.

10. I have to act differently to get what I want.

In your mind, whatever you've been doing hasn't worked, so if you tried to be nice without any kind of physical contact, you changed things to really initiate physical contact / gentle flirting / physical touch / etc., to try to succeed. You feel like your life depends on it since you're trying to do anything to stand out.

11. I'm not going to try to date for a long time.

This ties into some of the earlier ones described, but this is a good measure to take for your own heart and to make yourself feel whole again. Whatever this is, just do it. Step away from the game a bit since it's playing you like a violin.

12. God said "not now."

You don't have to believe in God, but if you believe in Him, you've probably received some sign that He has something better in mind for you.

13. I will make it through this.

It's really hard to, but this is the push that you need to keep on going. God's with you, your friends are with you, and whomever you feel close to is supporting you. Believing in you. Loving you. Even if you struggle with it.

Being single is incredibly difficult, just like a relationship is. There are people that want to be in your position, even though you feel like you hate it. Just remember that your feelings are valid, first and foremost. Remember that there are people who have your back, and that you don't need to rush. You have every right to make yourself whole, and to take the measures you need to be happy and healthy. That's how the relationship you desire should be like, and because you're trying to chase happiness and good health, it's something you don't currently have. Find a way to build that up away from the dating game, and also build up your confidence during that time.

Trust the process you believe in, whether that's God's plan or some other plan. You shouldn't have to feel like doubting yourself time and time again. You should feel like you're able to open your life to those who deserve to be around you, and free the demons from your heart and head. You're going to get through this.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

10 Holiday Drinks to Spice Up this December's Movie Binge

After all, isn't it the season of drinking...?

737
10 Holiday Drinks to Spice Up this December's Movie Binge
https://unsplash.com/photos/d-SeLxF_QF0

Thanksgiving has officially ended which means we are in preparation for the final holidays of the year. December is a busy month, filled with shopping and sales, wrapping gifts, planning family gathering and parties, cooking and baking, holiday movies, and of course, lots of drinking. I know that I will be spending a lot of December watching the ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas,

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Planning Another Christmas Party

Don't just plan another plain party but get creative to have everyone wanting to come back next year!

9353
Getty Famous

You know it's Christmas when the radio stations change to all of your favorite holiday tunes, the air is still, and stores have the best sales. With all my favorite things from Christmas happening my least favorite probably has to be when I have to go to another same old boring Christmas party that I get invited to every year. Here are some Christmas party ideas so that you won't have another sad Christmas party.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

High School Soccer is Wildly Important

For Young Players Who Want to Succeed at The Next Level

14346
High School Soccer is Wildly Important

Whose choice is it? The parent? The player? There are a number of reasons that a kid may sit out of high school soccer, and to be completely honest; It is a huge mistake. High school soccer is the final piece in the puzzle that takes a player from above average or elite, to college ready by the end of their senior year. Every year thousands of talented athletes don't play for their high schools. Why though?

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

8 Things That Should Be On Everyone's Holiday To-Do List

December is around the corner, are you ready?

11095
8 Things That Should Be On Everyone's Holiday To-Do List
Unsplash.com

As they tend to say, its the most wonderful time of the year! People have begun to compile their Christmas to-do lists in anticipation for the season of sugarplums and gingerbread.

The history of the Christmas to-do lists goes back hundreds of years, almost as old as the holiday itself, however, people tend to fall out of this habit as they get older. This is unfortunate, as the theme of Christmas tradition can add bundles of the spirit of joy to your families.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Fall Weather Must-Haves

Put away the swim suits and your favorite high-waisted shorts!

10591

The transitional months of fall can cause some fashion headaches as you try to figure out what clothing to keep in your closet. With limited amount of college living space and the ever-unpredictable Nebraska weather, sometimes it’s difficult to know what should be taking up that precious closet space as you transition into winter. As you pack away those tanks and shorts for the chilly months ahead, get your closet ready with a few Fall must-haves. 

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments