How To Decide What Side Of The Family To Spend Holidays With As A Couple
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21 Couples Share Their Strategies For Splitting Up Holidays Between Families

Holidays can be stressful already, let alone adding a family to yours.

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The holidays are approaching and if you're anything like me, you like to plan ahead. Who you'll be visiting, what time you'll be visiting them, how long, the list goes on.

While I've been in the "dating game" since high school, the one thing that never gets easier is trying to merge families. I enjoy spending time with my family and my boyfriend's and vice versa for him. These are our first holidays together and trying to come up with a game plan isn't always easy. Do we split it up in one day? Do we spend time with his family on one day and mine the other? The possibilities are endless, making it that much harder.

But thankfully, these 21 couples, came to save the day.


1. Together - 4 Years, Married - No

"Typically I am working. This year though I'm off. We'll probably go to my sisters for thanksgiving dinner then meet with his family for traditional dessert later in the evening. His family's large so they usually do diners separately."

2. Together - 1 year, Married - No

"We visit his family for lunch and then later we do dinner with mine. We spend time with each side for as long as we can."

3. Together - 3 years, Married - No

"She sees her family, I see mine. Haven't really reached that moment in our relationship to where we want to bring each other to special events like that."

4. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"We spend the morning with his family and the evening with my family. Then this year we flipped the morning with mine the evening with his."

5. Together - 3 months, Married - No

"I won't be here for half of them, so low-key, I don't want to celebrate any of them. But when I was dating my ex of 1 1/2 years, we spent half the day with my family and half with his and we switched who got to see who's family first. So like Thanksgiving if we saw mine first, Christmas Eve we would see his first, etc. Except for Valentine's Day that was just us."

6. Together - 4 years, Married - No

"It's a two day event, on Christmas Eve we go to my church and have dinner with my family and do gifts. On Christmas morning we are with our own families, on Christmas afternoon and evening we spend time with his family."

7. Together - 16 years, Married - Yes (For 14 years)

"It's recently become A LOT easier as one set of parents moved to AZ. However, this has been a difficult nut to crack. In the early years we settled into a Christmas Eve his family/Christmas my family routine. Thanksgiving was meal with one half/desserts with the other half. When children were added to the equation, we held firm to not leaving home on Christmas. If they wanted to see us, they had to come to us (too much to pack up an infant and all their stuff, nap time, feedings, etc). Since kids, we've always hosted Christmas on Christmas Day for my family and planned a gathering with his family typically a week later. Easter has always been much less of a friction point (thankfully)."

8. Together - 18 years, Married - Yes

"Estranged from husbands immediate family, so just visit with mine."

9. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"Separately for dinner, together at dessert with my family."

10. Together - 32 years, Married - No

"Take turns for each holiday spending with each family."

11. Together - 2 1/2 years ,Married - No

"We try our best to have equal time with each family. Most of the time, we won't go to each others' family gatherings because our families overlap times. What we'll do is visit each other either early in the morning or late at night. That way, we can both spend time with each family but don't have to sacrifice time with our own relatives that may be in from out of town!"

12. Together - 4 years, Married - No

"Have holidays with our own families earlier in the day, visit each other's families later in the day after formal dinner."

13. Together - 5 years, Married- No

"Dependent on family member and holiday, some we go together, others we go apart."

14. Together - 7 months, Married - No

"We're basically going two separate ways for the holidays with our own family plans and work schedules. We'll probably do a private celebration with just us to exchange gifts and have some sort of holiday tradition but that'll probably be a couple weeks before or after the holidays themselves."

15. Together - 2 years, Married - Yes

"His Christmas day. On Boxing Day, we'll go to my side and have a big Christmas Boxing Day as well."

16. Together - 5 years, Married- No

"Usually spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine just because my family does more for Christmas."

17. Together - 3 years, Married - No

"For Thanksgiving, we have a big lunch with his family and then Thanksgiving dinner with my family. As for the winter holidays, he's Catholic and I'm Jewish, so celebrating with both families is pretty easy! We celebrate Christmas with my boyfriend's family and Chanukah with my family."

18. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"Visit each of our families. One in the morning, the other in the evening. We stay longer at the house we have more fun at."

19. Together - 2 years, Married - No

"His place for Thanksgiving—his family cooks a whole meal, mine just orders in and watches movies. My place for Christmas—My mom decorates like crazy and gives a lot more presents."

20. Together - 8 months, Married - No

"He is Hispanic and they celebrate on Christmas Eve... we have his daughter and we go to his family and celebrate there for the 24th, then my parents on the 25th!"

21. I had 2 couples (1 together for 3 years and married, the other 7 years and not married

They both said they split between the families evenly.

Holidays are hard, you always want to make sure you spend time with all of your loved ones while you can. You don't want to leave anyone out, and that can be especially hard when there's more family involved. The best advice that I can give, is to do what makes both of you happy and what is least stressful for you. My boyfriend and I have agreed that we will spend the morning with my family, lunch with his, dinner with mine and dessert with his this year (I think for both Christmas and Thanksgiving). Then next year, we will do vice versa! Do what is going to make the holidays the best it can be for YOU guys.

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