"We accept the love we think we deserve."
That quote became wildly popular when “Perks of Being a Wallflower” hit the theaters. To this day, I see pictures of it posted on Twitter, usually accompanied by a "hand up" emoji or a caption that says "truuuue"
But that quote is so much deeper than I think people realize. Someone will retweet it when they feel they've been done wrong by their significant other. But this isn't about the surface; this quote isn't about your girlfriend texting another guy, or your boyfriend liking another girl's picture on Instagram. This is the cold, hard reality that we will allow ourselves to be treated the way that we think we deserve.
I've seen the people I love and care about most treated unfairly. And that sucks because to them, it's nothing less than what they're worthy of. When I look at them, I see beauty. I see perfection. I see things that they could never, ever see; the way they can light up a room and the way their presence contributes to what makes me happy and whole. How could they not know how precious they are? I would lay down my life for these people, yet they lay themselves down to be trampled by those around them and the false conception of who they are and what they’re worth becomes reality. They do this to themselves. You do this to yourself. I do this to myself.
I’m a people pleaser by nature. Like many others, I’ve allowed people to walk all over me in hopes that what I can offer them would be worthy of their praise and, if I’m lucky, their love. But that’s not what love is all about; love shouldn’t be circumstantial in nature or reliant on the tangible gifts that we can offer, but should rather be unconditional.
Look at the way a dog loves their owner. Cliché, but true. No matter how often you ignore them for your phone or leave them behind to go out with your friends, they are always ready to greet you at the door. Equate those times you leave and ignore them to the faults that you have in everyday life. Whatever it is that you dislike about yourself, that you see as “unworthy” or “unlovable,” I promise it can’t be worse that leaving your dog behind for the whole day. They literally just lay around and wait for you to come back.
Because that’s how important you are. Allow yourself to be loved the way that you allow your dog to love you; anything less than that is less than what you deserve, and it will never fill you with the joy and happiness that you crave.
