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Something I don't think gets spoken enough about is psychological abuse in relationships. We talk a lot about physical abuse and the signs of physical abuse are a lot easier to spot, both for the victim and their family and friends. In fact, according to the CDC, "1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime." But mental and emotional abuse are a lot more subtle and because of that, it may be harder for those on the outside to pick up on. Nearly half of all women and all men in the U.S will or have experienced psychological abuse by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Women specifically, experience more emotional abuse than physical abuse. Nearly 35% of married women or women in long-term relationships say they experience regular emotional abuse from their partner.

Let's start with the definition of psychological abuse. It is abuse that isn't physical in nature but is behavior that is designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, intimidation, guilt, coercion or manipulation. It is a type of brainwashing that forces the victim to lose their sense of self-worth.

Remember! No one intends to enter into an abusive relationship, but it happens, both to women and to men.

Here are a few signs you are in an abusive relationship.

1. Unreasonable jealousy

Your partner becomes jealous any and every time you are around someone of the opposite sex. This jealousy knows no boundaries. He or she may get upset if you are having a conversation with a friend, a cashier or even your own manager.

2. Domination and control

Your partner looks for ways to make sure you are where they want you to be and do what they want you to do. He or she may insist on always bringing you to and from work or make sure that they are the sole provider. They may even interrogate you to no end and resort to threats. They want to know where you are at all times and may even insist on you asking for their permission to leave the house.

3. Everything is your fault

Your partner blames you for all inconveniences, both big and small.

4. Isolation

Your partner doesn't want your friends or family coming to the house, especially unannounced. It becomes a big deal for you to spend time with people outside of the home, and phone conversations with friends and family need to be explained on placed on speakerphone. He or she may also prevent you from using the car or make it hard for you to keep a job,

5. Constant calling or texting

Your partner continuously checks in on you when you are not together. Missed calls and late text message responses usually cause arguments.

6. Constant put-downs and hypercriticism

Your partner name calls you or makes you feel as if you aren't good enough. He or she may also constantly point out your flaws and criticize everything from the way you do something to the way you look. He or she may be cruel and will often use your past or touchy subjects against you.

7. They blame you for their feelings

Your partner says "it's your fault" constantly. He or she will blame everything wrong in the relationship on you. They may even blame you for initiating the relationship in the first place.

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8. Hypersensitivity

Your partner is overly sensitive. He or she may be easily insulted or think that people, including your friends and family, are conspiring against them.

9. Rigid gender roles

Your partner firmly believes that women, and only women, do specific things while men, and only men, do other things.

10. Your goals and dreams are belittled

Your partner wants you to forget your own personal goals or put them on hold so that they can succeed. He or she may feel that your dreams are unrealistic or a nuisance.

11. They think you are incapable of most things

Your partner believes that only they know what is best for you and that you are not able to make decisions for yourself. He or she wants you to know that you are dependent on them and that if they leave you, you will fail.

12. They think they need to "babysit" you.

Your partner feels as though if they aren't around to watch your every move, you will do something to upset them.

13. They tell you that they can do better than you

Your partner wants you to know that they are doing you a "favor" by being with you. He or she believes that they can be with anyone they want and you should be thankful that they settled for you.

14. Constant accusations of things that aren't true

Your partner always asks you to prove your love to them and this may include coercing you into sexual activities. He or she may accuse you of cheating when they can't reach you on the phone or they see you talking to someone of the opposite sex. They think that everything you say is a lie and they are always looking to catch you doing something "wrong."

15. You are always wrong

Your partner insists that everything needs to be done their way because they are always right. He or she might often belittle your education or life experiences.

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Remember! Mental and emotional abuse often times leads to physical abuse.

Sadly, many victims of an abusive relationship, get out just to wind up in another one. And on average, a woman experiences five to seven acts of violence before they leave their abuser.

These are some things your loved ones want you to know!

1. Abuse can happen to anyone

It knows no age, race, tax bracket or social standing. You are not alone and it is not your fault.

2. It does not define who you are or who you will be

Your current situation is not your final destination.

3. The people that LOVE you, don't treat you badly

4. Do not be afraid to ask for help

Your friends and family want to be there for you. All you have to do is let them. They won't stop throwing you that life jacket. All you have to do is reach out and they will pull you in.

There are also other resources at your disposal.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-7233

5. It's not gonna get better, beloved

Abuse can't be waited out. He or she will not stop. Your abuser has a deep-seated issue and it won't get fixed until they acknowledge their problems and have gone through steps of getting help. It is not your job or responsibility to "wait for them." You owe your abuser NOTHING.

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6. Don't ignore the a-million-and-one signs

You know there is an issue. Trust your gut. We all get that feeling in the pit of our stomach when something is not right. When people show you who they are, believe them.

7. Set boundaries and stick to them.

People violate you when you don't have clear boundaries and there is nothing wrong with saying what you want and saying what you don't want.

8. Love is not enough

Abuse is not normal and you don't need to stay in this relationship out of love.

It can not be stressed enough how worthy you are of everything good that life has to offer. Healthy relationships do not include any type of abuse. Those who truly love you and care for your well being do not abuse you and could never imagine treating you badly.

“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” ― Michael J. Fox

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