Today was the introductory session for one of my last classes before graduating - PSY309: Psychopathology. In this class, we started by discussing what the line is between normal and abnormal mental states in regards to mental disorders, a subject which I found to be extremely touchy and offensive, though nobody seemed to share my opinion.

In the first place, I believe that labeling some people's reactions to their lives as abnormal is wrong. What brought me to think about this was the exercise we did in class, which was to look at little descriptive vignettes of an individual's situation and their current mental state as a result, and evaluate whether or not they were being abnormal.

One thing that truly struck me was how quickly people were to label depressive or suicidal states as abnormal. One example showcased a man aged 78 whose wife of 50 years had passed away only two months ago. This man was experiencing depression so terrible that he had stopped attending church and did not interact with his friends anymore, instead preferring to stay indoors and watch television all day with a blank look on his face. A majority of the class found his behavior abnormal. Yet my question was this: How is grieving like that unnatural? I speak from personal experience. I've had people pass away, and I still sometimes feel depressed many years later. I often think about these people. It doesn't paralyze my life the way it did for the 78 year old man, but it's been years for me. For him, it has been a mere two months. My ability to socialize was greatly incapacitated for over a year as I struggled to make sense of what had happened.

I know someone whose dog died a few months ago, and she's still sad about it. It doesn't impede her as much as it used to, but it was very crippling in the beginning, and some nights she is still haunted by it. That's a dog of roughly a year of ownership. The man in the example lost the love of his life that he'd been with for fifty years. How could grieving for two months possibly be abnormal?

In the first place, why would this girl's grieving so long be considered abnormal too? Or my own grieving? It goes without saying that we should not be viewing these perfectly reasonable human reactions to the devastating tragedies involved in life as abnormal. In fact, these are more normal than if we didn't react that way. Tragedy, pain, struggle, and people dying are all a regular part of everyone's life. It is normal to hurt and to struggle sometimes. So why was the class quick to call the man abnormal?

It seems to me that what the class was really seeking, at least in the case of diagnosing mental disorders, was "problematic" rather than "abnormal." It's bad terminology. Is it really a disorder if it's abnormal? I'm shorter than average. Is that somehow a disorder just because it's abnormal? Certainly not. However, being short is problematic in regards to my being able to accomplish certain tasks. I would have to work considerably harder if I wanted to be a pro NBA athlete, something that for someone my height is almost impossible. That's a deficiency. My being short is not a deficiency some normative standard, but because it is problematic.

That's how it should work for disorders too. Being sad or grieving aren't inherently bad. In fact, we cannot know happiness without also knowing sadness, as we must be able to measure emotions relative to one another to be able to understand them. The old man being paralyzed in his home is problematic for engaging with his personal and social duties, so perhaps one could say he now has a mental disorder as a result of that. But he is not abnormal.

Let me be perfectly clear. I do not think mental disorders are abnormal. It's a difficult world we live in. Just as it isn't abnormal to get sick sometimes or to die, mental illness is not abnormal, but it can be problematic for the individual afflicted.

Yet psychology and psychologists, especially when seeking diagnoses, are very insistent on referring to things as abnormal or normal. By forcing these cultural normative standards upon people we open ourselves up to easily discriminate against sections of the population. We open ugliness in society, and we further victimize those already suffering. We add to the stigma of mental disorder and against seeking proper help. We hurt millions of people, billions even.

We need to stop referring to these things as "normal" vs "abnormal."

Because that's just ugly.