Welcome to the 21st century. Here, everything revolves around technology. We use phones and computers to order food, pay bills, keep track of events and basically everything else. We’ve even managed to work technology into our relationships. A lot of this has to do with the increase in social media, and how we use that to stay in touch with people.
Welcome to the 21st century, where someone commenting on your selfies is more important than if they can hold a conversation with you. Where someone posting pictures of you and being “relationship goals,” is more important than if they’re being loyal towards you. Where “Netflix and chill” is an acceptable replacement for meeting the parents and taking you out to dinner.
Technology and social media can be so useful in simplifying our lives because it does make everything more accessible and more connected, but why do we rely so heavily on retweets and Snapchats? If we think back on dating when our parents were young, so much more effort went into it. If a guy wanted to pursue a girl he would come to her house, pick her up at the front door, meet her parents, and take her out on the town. There was at least a decent level of respect between both parties, where the girl knew she deserved to be treated well and the boy was on his best behavior because he knew if he didn’t he could just hit the road. Contrast that scenario with today’s web-based, “hook-up” culture where it’s endearing to invite a girl over to watch a movie and chill (use your imagination on how the night may continue). If you’re really lucky, he may even order a pizza! Talk about relationship goals (insert heart eye emoji here)! Staying in with pizza and a movie certainly does sound like a fun night to me, but when did it become okay for that to be considered a date? When did a girl who dresses sexy and has curves in all the right places become the minimal qualifications for “wifey material?” When did we start rewarding men for being able to keep secrets from their “crazy” girlfriends rather than teaching them how to be loyal and trustworthy?
I don’t know the answers to those questions, but what I do know is that we need to get rid of the view that those ideals are OK. The overuse of social media has changed our perception of what relationships should really be about. I’m definitely not advocating to get rid of social media (we all know I’m a fan, based on my Instagram article), but I do think we need to recognize the aspects of relationships that actually matter. We need to keep in mind that social media is 100 percent a show and everyone can choose to portray only the amazing parts of their life (or relationship), making you believe it’s all “goals” and there are no rocky parts.
It is definitely okay to share your relationship with the world if you want to. While doing this, though, keep in mind that your relationship should be between two people, and the world doesn’t need to be involved with any part of it. Also, do not have unattainable standards for your own relationship based off others that you see. Focus on yourself and make sure you feel happy and secure with where you are, because that is what actually matters.
Welcome to the twenty-first century. We use a lot of technology here, but we don’t need that to define our relationships. Receiving a heart eye or fire emoji on our Insta-pics is nice, but the important part is that they treat you just as well when no one is around.
