Dear Annoying Couple Online,

How did you two first meet? Where do you see your relationship going? Why are you still together? When did you know you were in love?

These are thoughts that run through my head after I’ve scrolled through one too many posts.

I can’t help but reflect back on scenes from my freshman year of college of weekend nights spent in dark, musty basements filled with crowds of sweaty people. While dancing with your group of friends, I remember simultaneously trying to be aware of my heels either stabbing an innocent bystander or avoiding random holes in the concrete floor while also being on the look-out for that next cute someone.

But that someone I may have happened to make eye contact with, dance with, walk back to my dorm room with did not provide me with any sense of fulfillment.

I’m not here to condemn the hookup culture — I think it’s a necessary millennial tribulation, a consequence of technology that can eventually be overcome — because there are enough posts floating around the Internet for you to read, but there is a maturity threshold I am interested in discussing.

Here’s what I do want to talk about: the necessity of a relationship at all and why people feel the need to prove their relationship is better than yours.

If you take your phone out right now and skim through your Facebook, Instagram and Twitter feeds, I’d bet a large sum of cash you come across more than one shape or form of a friend’s appreciation post for their significant other.

Guess what, social media? I’m tired of your relationship obsession and it’s not because I’m single.

In fact, it’s actually, because I know almost every little detail about your relationship when I shouldn’t.

As I write this, I’m assuming I’ll encounter a couple of you who will firmly disagree with my opinion — “This is America, I can post what I want;” or “You’re relationship-shaming me;” or “You’re just jealous your relationship isn’t as good as mine,” etc. – but guess what, I don’t care, and you really shouldn’t either.

No one needs to know when you’re fighting or why you’re fighting, or what you ate at dinner for the third day this week, or that you have never loved someone so much as them even though you broke up last Monday.

Let’s be frank: do you even know what love is?

If we’re talking about 20-something-year-olds, then I’m pretty sure the concept of love is over your head. Movies and novels of contemporary pop culture set horrible examples and odd expectations for love in regard to relationships. Love at first sight in high school isn’t a thing (allegedly). How can you base every single feeling off of one person when you still have a lifetime left in which to live?

This letter, however, must come with a grain of salt because I’m in a position to say what is and isn’t love. Reminder: I’m not here to judge you, I don’t even know how love works, but I am here to validate my opinion.

Why do relationships even work, anyway? Why do most have an inherent need to put themselves into one whether they actually like the person or not? (You know who I’m talking about, that one friend who is always in and out and in and out of a relationship, whether it's the same one or multiple, they’re never alone).

Is it because we need someone to rely on? To share the good and bad news with? A source of comfort and release? Who knows? But, I’m pretty sure — more often than not — a good book is solace enough for me.

I, myself, am in a relationship and believe it must boil down to the social interaction of having a constant variable to exchange ideas with on a daily basis, but allow for a more intimate realm as opposed to ones with friends. Someone who understands how your brain jumps to conclusions, someone who knows what you’ll like before you do, someone who’s willing to go the extra mile to make you smile.

As a college student on the cusp of graduation, I guess I’m baffled by my own limitations when it comes to love. There’s a whole world out there full of nearly 8 billion people and somehow I’ve already managed to meet my potential soulmate.

So, annoying couple, do you think maybe we’re all being a bit too naïve? Or do you think you can really convince me with another filtered Instagram post of you two holding hands to prove me wrong?

If one thing is for sure, I know a relationship should not be based off of the latest social media status, and no one should interpret someone’s relationship based on how many posts they make in dedication of someone else. If this is the case, it would appear my own significant other is not nearly as important as myself, nature, cool buildings, coffee or lacrosse.

Here are my two cents: Enjoy the moment. It’s cliché, yes, and pictures are fine, but do they need to be shared with the entire world?

Can it be a quiet moment captured for just you two?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to point out what someone should or should not do. I guess I’m just trying to mull over what it means to 1. want to be with someone so strongly they give up on future possible connections, and 2. want to share that relationship so strongly on a daily occurrence.

All in all, I think you can love someone without your Instagram feed needing to show it.

Well, lovely couple, is there something you’re doing then that I’m not?

Sincerely,

I’m not single, just confused.