Perfectionism is a quality that seems appealing unless you truly experience its suffocating characteristics. It seems to many, who don't know the true meaning of the word, as a simple character flaw. Still, others may see it as a virtue. However, it goes far beyond being scrupulous or finicky. What most don't know is that it's often paralyzing.
It is difficult to avoid succumbing to the many pressures that being a perfectionist entail. Whether it's in a specific setting, such as an athletic court, classroom, or a work environment, or regarding one's personal life such as your self-image, your role in relationships, or your social reputation; the reality of never being satisfied with yourself is a harsh one. Regardless of how much recognition or encouragement you receive, what always sticks in your mind is what you could have done better. Say, for example, you served 10 aces in a volleyball match. Your coaches and teammates would applaud you, give you a pat on the back, and say "great job!". However, the very first question you would ask yourself is why you didn't work harder in practice to get 11 aces. Say you score a 99% on an important exam. Your parents, classmates, and professor would praise and congratulate you. You would be irritated with yourself for not studying more or for not focusing more on the material on that one question you missed.
It's truly a vicious cycle that is so easy to get tangled up in. This is something that has followed me throughout my grammar school, high school, and college careers. It constantly lurks in the back of my mind, patiently waiting to assert itself lest I forget that I will never be good enough by my own standards. I've learned, however, that failure often best prepares us for a numerous amount of future experiences. Those who are afraid of defeat are condemned to an extraordinarily boring existence. Failure is inevitable. As terrifying as this is to us perfectionists, inevitable is synonymous with "beyond our control".
I'm not at all saying that if you're going to fail anyway then there's no point in trying. It is quite the contrary. Dive into new experiences headfirst. Leave your inhibitions in the past and have the voracity to chance down your aspirations with reckless abandon. Most importantly, do so without the all too familiar shackles of apprehension. As your own biggest critic, you're the only one who can liberate yourself. Act on the passions in your heart, not the premonition in your brain.
"Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection." -Mark Twain
