Perfect. P-E-R-F-E-C-T.
Such a simple, six letter word, with so much self destructive power hidden beneath each letter.
Everyone must wonder what it is like to be perfect, and many try very, very hard to be just that
Except, it doesn't exist.
But I can tell you what does: the struggle with trying to be. It's a real thing, even if you don't think so. Because wouldn't it be nice if we could all be perfect, or at least our own definition of it, for just one day? Maybe. Or maybe not.
Perfectionism, according to Websters dictionary, is the refusal to accept any standard short of perfection. Psychology Today says it's a fast track to unhappiness and life is an endless report card of good looks and accomplishments. Research says it's detrimental and leads to unhealthy habits. But they never truly tell the story of how it feels, how the struggle feels.
Sometimes, it feels like this:
It's like being trapped in a glass box, screaming at the top of your lungs, but no one can hear you.
It's looking in a mirror and seeing only the flaws.
It is wanting to shatter that perfect, glass mirror into a thousand pieces.
Because all you see are the flaws, and when the glass shatters, they cannot be seen.
Yet when the glass breaks, you break on the inside, too.
It's listening to an endless list of tasks that still need to be accomplished.
And knowing you need to be perfect at each and everyone.
Because there is no room for error, ever.
It's wanting to break down the walls with your fist because you know no matter how much you try, perfection doesn't truly exist.
But you still keep trying anyways.
You break down and cry because you don't think you'll get that perfect outcome, whatever it may be.
Honestly, perfectionism feels like a cage.
You can't get out, because it never truly goes away.
It feels like your standing at the bottom of a mountain.
No matter how much you climb, no matter how far you get, when you look up, you're still just as far away from the top as you were at the bottom.
Sometimes, you just want to break.
But you know you can't.
And you won't.
Because then you would fail.
You tell yourself if you don't succeed, you aren't good enough
Perfect, truly, in all its form, feels like a never ending failure.
But you are, you truly are.
The fact is, you don't have to be perfect, it just feels that way. And I know it's hard, but just doing your best is good enough. And it always will be. Perfectionism doesn't exist, even if the struggle does. So everyday, when you feel the perfectionism wanting to take over,
Take a deep breath,
And tell yourself these words:
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
And believe.
