In today's society it is no secret that girls in cropped tops, mini skirts, high heels, push up bras, and any other "provocative" clothing you can think of are seen everywhere. For most of us the first thing we think when we see a girl dressed like that is "wow what slut" or "that's trashy" but that's a problem and I wish I could say it stops there. The word "slut" transfers over into women's sex lives and actions as well.
Before I get really off track lets start with the word "slut" as it relation to women's clothing options. Over the years it has become more and more popular to show more and more skin for reasons ranging from changing climate to wanting to be pleasing to the eye, regardless of the reason it is still fact. Why are we reprimanding women for this? Firstly, doing so belittles their self confidence. If a woman is wearing something and feels confident and powerful enough to wear it in public, in a society that is as judgmental as ours is, we have no right to tell them they shouldn't. Coming from someone who struggles with body image and has battled and still battles an eating disorder the power it takes to put on something you would call "trashy" or "whorish" and wear it out knowing what people will say about you is something not just anyone can do. To the women who wear what they want no matter what: I look up to you because that takes so much strength, but it is more than belittling their self confidence that happens when we say thing like this; once someone says something like this to you, it changes how you view yourself completely and irreversibly.
Now that that topic has been touched on, because believe me I could go on for hours about this, let's talk about "slut" in terms of a women's personal sex life. What you do in the bedroom is between you and whoever you did it with. I'm not crazy though, I know girls talk and want to tell their friends and that is perfectly OK. What isn't okay is when those friends react by saying it is "wrong" or they should "make better decisions" or "stop being self-destructive" or "stop acting like such a slut/whore." Three things are very wrong here. One, no one should ever be judged based on their sex lives because if you know anything about humans as a species you know that sex is a very natural process. It is in fact something we are programmed to do as part of our animalistic quality to continue our race. Two, if someone feels close enough and comfortable enough with you to share their sex life you should not betray that by judging them about it. Sex is personal, very personal and is not easy to talk about in the first place particularly today when everyone knows how easy it is to be judged about it. Three, it is okay to like sex. There is nothing wrong with enjoying something that is meant to be pleasurable. You don't judge someone for enjoying exercise, cooking, or spending time with family so why would you for enjoying something so natural? As long as they are being safe and smart about their actions, i.e. using protection and being sure that any action is complexly consensual on both parties, let them be and support them.
After I have addressed both of those big issues I want to make a side note. In the above sections I reference women specifically because I myself am a women but that in no way means this does not happen to men as well. Men are usually rewarded for the more girls they have sex with or the "hotter" they look when they go out but it does not mean that it doesn't happen to them. Women overall are much more judgmental and more likely to be judged but the problem is across the board.
In today's world it is so easy for someone to say the word "slut" or "whore" without thinking about what it actually means to say it and what it does to those who are around to hear it. I am not saying that one article will change the world but it may change how one person sees it. Change has to start somewhere. The next time you want to say the word "slut" think about it first. I promise there is another word you can use that isn't so hurtful and if you have to think about finding a less hurtful word you probably shouldn't be saying it in the first place.
