A few years ago someone told me that anxiety can be a good thing. Now just like any other individual suffering from anxiety would, I looked at her in a cross between shock and upset. How could anyone think that anxiety could be a good thing? Does she not know what I'm suffering through? Does she not know that my heart is almost constantly racing, or that I'm afraid of some of the simplest things? Does she not know how I constantly am doubting myself, or how I'm almost never able to catch my breath? Does she not know I live in fear everyday, my body constantly in the fight or flight mode? I didn't understand, but she continued. She looked at me and said, "without a certain amount of anxiety, nobody would get anything done."
For some reason this suddenly just clicked for me. Every person who has achieved anything, went after their dreams full force, and was probably scared at some. Anxiety sucks, but without it, perseverance wouldn't exist. All my life, I realized, I'd been living in the fear of anxiety, always focusing on the bad and never looking at the other side. This tiny little statement opened my eyes in a way that i never thought possible. It allowed me to see that maybe anxiety is a necessary part of life. So i went out and searched for the positives in my illness, and these are what i found so far.
1. Anxiety can mean ambition.
For me, anxiety is a sign of my ambition in life. I hold myself at such a high, and sometimes unreasonable, standard that i stress myself out. All the things i want in life, and all the things i dream of, urge me to do my best. I pressure myself so much that i sometimes snap, and it is something i need to work on, but i know that i have dreams and aspirations that make me want to do, and be my best. Because of these standards, I practically give myself anxiety. And although I know this is not the case for everyone, in many instances anxiety can spur people on. I think that what my friend said about anxiety is absolutely true. You need a certain amount of anxiety in life to help you achieve your goals. One of the greatest examples of this in my life was my ambition to go to college. I was anxious about getting good grades, and getting into a good college, and as a result of my anxiety, I had to work double time in order to get what i wanted. My ambition gave me anxiety, but without that anxiety i would never have learned how to continue to try, past the hard times. I would have never achieved my dreams.
2. I have become stronger because of it.
Through my anxiety, i have gained much insight into life. I have become more capable and have overcome obstacles i never thought i could have managed. Granted, most of those obstacles i put in front of myself, I overcame them nonetheless. Having the opportunity and ability to conquer your own fears is something many cannot say they've done. Through my anxiety however, I can safely say I've faced, fought, and beat my fears. I have looked at them head on, usually on a daily basis, and lived to tell the tale. I have become a stronger individual through my fears and struggles. As a result of all of this, i am not nearly as afraid of things as i once was. I handle things like obstacles and struggles and fears differently, because I know I can work through them now.
3. I have tried new things.
Through my anxiety i have tried an array of new things. From Yoga to chamomile tea, exercising to massages, even to buying a blue notebook because blue is a calming color, I have tried things. I have attempted every anxiety relief trick in the book. Some worked, some didn't, but at the end of the day, I tried it. I can now always say I've tried something before determining a judgement of it, and I'm proud of that. Although buying a blue notebook or drinking a certain type of tea may seem dumb to some people, the fact that because of something so horrible in my life i have gone out and found some of my now favorite things, is something i find simply amazing.
Although these are minuscule positives, the fact that i can find any positives at all is a big step in the right direction. I urge you to find the positives in your anxiety or illness, and maybe, just maybe, you can find that sometimes there are positives to a negative. And maybe, just maybe, that will help.
