If only you could see how much I love you. Smoke on the mirror clouded by my deep feelings. Suffocated unable to breathe, I can't even see. Please just see how much you mean to me, you are so important to me but I know I mean nothing to you. I'll continue to look off into the sky. For now, this is goodbye

Smoke

I feel for you. I'm a junkie for you. I crave you in the most innocent ways.

Your touch, your smile, your smart ass mouth, even your Ora. I've never met a drug like you. Mary Jane has nothing on you, although I seem to be drinking more Henny to hide my true pain.

I've searched everywhere for something similar to you and none of them give me the same simplistic high as you. I'm strung out, lost within the moss. Another loss I don't think I'm strong enough to take another.

I changed my ways because I thought that would make you stay. This is all so overwhelming nothing seems to help me. It's been days without you, I need you.

I stay up all night you made my life seem high when in reality it was sometimes so low. As I put you against my lips I can taste what I can't seem to stop craving. My eyes roll back as I get my favorite feeling again.

I need my dose to continue to focus. The lighter reminds me of the intense fire in your eyes that I oh so admire. Without my fix, the side effects begin to kick in.

Sadness, irritability, tears, and feeling of being without anyone. As your venom flows through my veins I begin a trip that I will never forget; you're my syringe.

Does anyone question why I cry? I cry because of the lies I'm constantly fed for the nourishment of my trust issues. These were issued by someone who wouldn't give a fuck if I said I miss you. I cry because no one dares to care about the person they have to share a true connection with.

If it doesn't have a fat ass with mass they don't want it. What about the girls with intelligence and eternal self-worth? We would step out of character if that meant that fame would help their own self-gain.

We fight beautiful Nefertiti's just to sleep at night with some low life kitty. Please allow me to have a moment for these warm tears I cry. I cry because of my deep feeling of pity… my unanswered cries of why.

Confused, a fuse between sadness and questioning. All I want is to be happy again. Again and again, I go through the same cycle.

Like a washer on spin cycle my head, 360. Can't I just do a 180 from this feeling? Continuing to believe maybe one day shit will be alright. Nobody even notices the fake smile I put on, as I take them off like shoes at night I'm left to see the true me.

I laugh and smile in order to file away my real feelings. Moral of the story is I have no glory... I just want to have a genuine smile.

I will walk miles if happiness is at the end of the tunnel. Until then I will continue to wish that maybe one day my shooting star will fall.