Some time into my relationship with my now former boyfriend, he enlisted into the Air Force. Here are some things I find people with significant others in the military can relate to, it will be different depending on factors such as branch, time enlisted, and job. Despite this, all military significant others have relatable issues that many people can't empathize with. If they are not listed here, it does not mean they are undermined in any way
1. When they initially enlist
When your S.O. initially enlists into the military it can be a bittersweet moment. You realize there's really no turning back now. Although you're nervous for them and what the future holds, you can't help but be proud that they're doing something many people would never think to do
2. Spending time together before basic
Once they receive their departure date for basic training, the countdown begins. You can't see them while they're in basic training so you want to soak up all the time you can with them before they leave. Even if it means being with them virtually every second of every day, doing arbitrary things I.e. Watching Netflix.
3. Weeks after they went to basic
This is arguably one of the hardest times for military S.O.s. You go from seeing or talking to someone every day, to abruptly not. It's a really weird feeling, as if they're just at work and will text you in a few hours, but the text never comes.
4. Letters
The most interaction you get with your S.O. during basic training time is through writing letters. The sole interaction you can have makes it feel like you're living in another time period. I never thought the favorite part of my day would be coming home to check the mailbox. In all honesty, I was more excited to check the mailbox to see if a letter came from my S.O. rather than to see if my college acceptance letters came (sorry, Mom)
5. Missing them on specific days
There were a lot of days when I had news (good or bad) in which I would have given anything for them to be there to talk to or, pick up the phone and tell them about it. It makes you realize how much your S.O. is truly your best friend
6. Feeling like you have no one else who understands
Despite having amazing friends and family, most of them just couldn't relate to the emotions I was having. Although I loved and appreciated them, there were days when seeing them just wouldn't fill my empty heart, and I just wanted my S.O.
7. Phone calls
Throughout the time my S.O. was in basic, we had about a handful of phone calls, most of which didn't surpass a number of minutes. Hearing their voice just felt so good, though. Knowing they were okay, knowing that they were thinking about you as much as you were of them.
8. Graduation
I didn't physically attend my S.O.'s basic training graduation, but when the day arrived I was still so excited. His mom and I were texting all day, so I was able to receive pictures. At the end of the day, I was able to talk to my S.O. again (for longer than five minutes) and I couldn't help but feel so proud!
9. Tech school
For the branch of the military that my S.O. is in, he had to attend school for about six months directly after graduation. This was many states away from me, so I went three months without seeing him. The time from then until the next time I would have seen him (if we hadn't broken up) it would have been another six. Moral of the story, at least we could text/Skype during tech school, but not physically being together still sucked.
10. Conforming
When someone joins the military, or any standardized group where you do everything together, it's typical to conform. My S.O. seemed to have a slight personality change. It wasn't for the worse or anything, but it left me sometimes feeling like I didn't know him.
No matter how deep into a relationship you are with someone from the military, there will always be things no one else except those who also experience it can relate to. Although the circumstances are sometimes despondent, your proudness of them will always outweigh the heavy heart you have.
