To those who have ever been a caller: allow me to vent,

For I have also experienced the struggle and the torment.

The torment of putting on the headset and knowing what’s to come.

During the next few hours of your life, you are sure to feel like scum.

Sitting in your cubicle, the room is heavy with callers’ gloom,

Your computer dials the number and you’re overcome with impending doom.

As you listen to the deathly ring, getting an answer is what you fear.

The sound of a voicemail is the sweetest thing that you could ever possibly hear.

And then, you hear it! The dreadful sound of “Hello?”

Now is the time to recite the script: a telemarketer’s woe.

You tell your victim your name, though you know they don’t care.

Then comes the small talk—it’s a telephone nightmare.

You try to joke with them, but they don’t think you’re funny.

They already know you’re just calling for their money.

They haven’t hung up yet and so you persist,

Then finally, you hear “Put me on the do not call list!”

Then they hang up on you and the call has ended,

So you stare at your computer screen and try not to feel offended.

You continue repeat the same process just so you can earn your dollar,

For it is the struggle and it is the life of a marketing caller.