Oh, the good old roommate situation. First off, let’s state the facts. Yes, I could make this directed at both men and women, but let’s be realistic, guys just tell one another, “Bro, don’t touch my stuff and we’re good okay?” Response? “Yeah, alright man.” Women on the other hand, let’s be honest, get catty and easily irritated if someone leaves a mess in the living room or eats our all-natural, organic and dairy free vanilla yogurt—just kidding…but maybe just a little. We either love each other or we can’t stand being in the same room as one another. After experiencing dorm room life for a year, most people tend to move into apartments with their close friends, and if not, they at least get the option of choosing someone they know to some extent—maybe through a friend of a friend. How do you know when you’ve truly hit the jackpot with your roommate the first time around? First and foremost, what exactly makes a “good” roommate? Well, let me tell you this, I lucked out because my roommate is also my best friend and I wouldn’t trade her for the world, but this doesn’t mean your roommate has to be your best friend in order for you guys to live well together. Here are 6 signs that will let you know whether or not she’s a good roommate:

1. She is as neat as you are.

People, this is vital! Before choosing to live together, you guys need to establish whether or not you are both neat freaks or…let’s just be frank, total slobs. If you don’t make this clear as soon as possible, you guys will grow to resent one another. One roommate will feel like she is constantly being reminded to pick up after herself—“ugh, she’s so annoying”—while the other will feel completely disrespected when dirty dishes are left in the sink—“does she seriously expect me to wash these for her?” My roommate and I definitely fall in the category of neat freaks. In order to avoid any conflict, we developed an easy system: whatever we use, we clean. Our belongings stay in our rooms and don’t become living room décor and we always alternate cleaning up the common area once a week or so. We’ve lived with each other for two years now, so our “system” is now something that is rarely discussed.

2. She understands when you just need some alone time.

You got a bad grade on your exam, you got in a fight with one of your close friends or you’re just straight up exhausted and overwhelmed from your busy schedule… she understands. She isn’t here to nag you or ask you 100 different times, “What’s wrong, oh my gosh is everything okay?” She will ask you once and leave it at that. She doesn’t mind that you walked in the door and went straight to your room without saying a single word. Everyone has bad days and she gets that everybody has different coping mechanisms.

3. Despite living together, she always asks you about your day.

Yes, you live together, but that doesn’t mean you see each other every second of every day. In fact, you guys probably see each other for 30 minutes to an hour out of the whole day. My roommate and I have completely opposite schedules. She’s in class while I am at work. I’m in class while she’s at home and I’m doing homework while she’s at dance practice. Thankfully, we get to see each other almost every day around lunchtime. The minute I walk in the door, the first thing that comes out of her mouth is, “Hi, how are you? How has your day been so far?” I don’t know about you, but I love hearing that. She cares and wants to check in and that means a lot to me. Sometimes, simple gestures like these can make somebody’s day.

4. She doesn’t mind switching out your laundry while you’re in class.

Are you like me and sometimes run out of time and have exactly 15 minutes before class starts and your load is still drying? Well, my roommate and I have sent each other screenshots of our schedules so that we know when to expect to see one another at the apartment. This makes it super easy for me to shoot her a text saying, “Hey, I have to run to class but would you mind switching out my laundry when you get home?” She understands you don’t always plan appropriately or that sometimes you just completely run out of time. She won’t respond with a question to your favor. She will gladly say, “Yes, no problem!”, because she’s a good roommate and roommates help each other out.

5. She always checks in to make sure she has equally contributed to the cleaning supplies.

Apartments can get dusty and dirty. Someone’s got to keep it nice and tidy. Cleaning supplies can get expensive when you think about all the products you need: Windex, Clorox Wipes, a Swiffer, dish-washer soap, paper towels and stove-top cleaner—I repeat my roommate and I are total clean freaks. If she’s a good roommate, she won’t let you pay for all the cleaning supplies every month. She will check on what you guys are running low on and make a quick grocery store run when she is aware that last time, you bought the paper towels.

6. She asks whether or not you have a lot of homework before inviting people over.

She doesn’t just throw a party with 20+ people and then casually tell you after the fact. No, she discusses it with you and makes sure you don’t have any pressing assignments or tests you need to be studying for. She will make sure the apartment is quiet and ask her friends to hang out somewhere else because she knows how important it is that you ace that exam tomorrow. She will make that sacrifice because she is a good roommate and because she cares about you.