It was my sophomore year of high school (which was one of the most awkward times of my life I might add). It was the season of sweet 16 parties. Being the social butterfly that I was, or tried to be, I got invited to a lot of them. So, of course, I had to go shopping.

All my life, I have always been a little bigger. I was taller than half the girls in my grade. I felt normal, but that changed this day.

I couldn’t fit into the “junior” sizing anymore, and I was devastated.

I didn’t look like my friends anymore. I was always the “odd one” in pictures because of large I was compared to everyone else. I was not comfortable in my own skin. I was angry. I was sad, which only caused me to get worse.

I went through a lot in this period of my life that I never really talked to anyone about. I was trapped in a body that I didn’t care about, and it showed. I kept this body negativity in my life for a very long time, and sometimes, I still think that my identity is in the size of clothing I wear.

Ever since the second semester of my freshman year, I changed. I came out to own my feelings of my body. I received so much love and support from family, friends, and just people who saw my status and also decided to be free themselves from the negativity that entrapped them. It was in that moment, that I knew I had made a difference in the way other people view me and themselves. It was in that moment, that I was free.

I still struggle with my confidence. There are days that I just want to throw on a T-shirt and sweatpants because I think that is all I feel comfortable in. Though it is okay to have those days, for me and my journey to self-appreciation, it can't happen as often as it used too.

I have to force myself every day to step out of my comfort zone and put on a blouse or a skirt. Instead of facing external bullying from other people (which I am sure I still do), I have to listen to my internal bully that says I am not good enough when it comes to the beauty standards set by society. I have to listen as the bully snickers and points at every single flaw.

I am learning to beat the bully. I dress for my size. I am learning to feel confident when I dress-up, wearing my sorority letters on, or if it is one of my lazy days. I am learning to accept the fact that I am fat, but that my weight does not define my worth.

For anyone going through what I have gone through: Learn to block out your internal bully. Find things about yourself that you love, and rock it out. Don't fall into a slump based on other people's views on what is beautiful. Make yourself your own hero, because it will be the best thing you can do for your confidence.

P.S. Listening to Beyonce helps too.