Periods. Mother nature's monthly "gift." Menstruation. Aunt Flow. That time of the month.
Whatever you want to call them, every month, women (or people with a uterus) spend several days bleeding, in pain, irritated, and very hungry.
I took to my Instagram followers to ask them a few questions about periods and have some conclusions to make.
Cramps are no fun.
And they're not always the "Ph, this is kind of uncomfortable" type of cramps. No, they are often the "okay, I need to sit down for several moments while I feel like someone is repeatedly stabbing me" type of cramps.
One of my followers describes her cramps as crippling, and another confessed that every few periods, she passes out from the pain. Someone else said they can't sleep their cramps are so bad!
Everyone understands the frustration of headaches. Nobody likes headaches.
Except for periods. Periods just love headaches.
Sometimes period headaches can stop us from doing our normal activities and obligations, like, I don't know, homework?!
C'mon mother nature, get it together!
While the only thing someone wants to wear on their period may be sweatpants, sweatpants are unfortunately not part of my job's dress code...
So bloating so much that you feel like a busted can of biscuits in your favorite skinny jeans is not a fun aspect of periods.
Are we supposed to have a set of pairs of pants for work that we only wear on our period?
4. Back pain
Because you're bloated and your insides are a bit messed up with the whole uterine-lining-shedding debacle, there's extra pressure on your back, making that yet another place you're in pain.
Where are you supposed to put the hot pads?!? On your cramps or your achy breaky back?!
5. Cravings and hunger
Some periods have us eating like bottomless pits. Seriously, get me all the chocolate and french fries, ASAP.
On the other hand, some periods we just want to puke the whole time.
Gotta love that.
7. Poop and gas
If you've never experienced them, feel blessed.
Hormones affect your gut and everything in that region, so periods also bring the lovely gift of poops, and along with it, gas.
Yes, you did make it all the way to number eight before I even mentioned the fact that you're bleeding the whole time you're experiencing all these other fun things.
You're bleeding the whole time!
And standing up, doing exercise, laughing, farting... pretty much anything, actually, can cause a nice little tsunami that you weren't anticipating.
9. Bye bye money
Hear me out, now.
You're buying not only feminine products, i.e. pads and tampons or a menstrual cup, but you also have to buy the extra food you're eating, the painkillers to lessen your pain, and heating pads, but you're also ruining clothes, sheets, and underwear.
I had people estimate how many pairs of underwear they've had to throw out since starting their period, and many people estimated over 100 pairs! My own number is around 120 pairs.
And, I know I also ruined several pairs of ballet tights, a few bed sheets, a pair of shorts or two, and probably other things over the years. Keep in mind, I've only been having periods for 10 years (and some of the other people who gave me their numbers have been having theirs for half as long or less).
This means from the time I start my period until I start menopause (realistically I have another 25-35 years), I'll ruin another 300+ pairs of underwear.
We're spending upwards of $20 on our periods every single month, and we have no choice but to have periods if we are not pregnant or skipping periods with birth control (both alternative routes cost money on their own) and have hit puberty.
Periods, suck, man!