Period Cravings, As Told By Kevin Malone
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Health and Wellness

Period Cravings, As Told By Kevin Malone

"Mini-cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?" - Kevin Malone

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Period Cravings, As Told By Kevin Malone

1. Getting out of a warm, cuddly bed surrounded by fluffy pillows is a joke when period cramps hit.

The only thing that can console you through the pain is food. Anything with carbs in it is a recipe for perfection.


2. Cookies! Brownies! Homemade desserts!

You've had so many you've lost count. You're like a vacuum that only sucks up desserts, and people have definitely taken notice.


3. Cooking dinner yourself is not even questioned while you are sitting on the couch, snuggled up in your pjs and watching TV.

Cravings hit hard, but what do you want? Mexican, Chinese, Italian? By the time you actually decide what you want and it gets delivered to your front door, you're starved. Inhaling the food is second nature. But you were so exited about eating the steaming food that you ended up demolishing it by accident. Forget about Instagraming that picture of the mouth-watering pizza that you just ordered.


4. On a girls night, your friends surround you at the kitchen, breaking into the ice cream, chocolate, and other sweets.

Your dire need for chocolate is quite evident, as you race to the front of the line, grabbing spoonfuls of ice-cream and topping it with handfuls of sweets. "Are you even going to eat all of that?" your friends ask. "Are you doubting my abilities?" you bite back.


5. Every bite of chocolate tastes better than the last.

Must everybody know that you are eating the best chocolate bar ever? Yes. They must know.


6. You're eating a small snack while preparing your larger snack.

And while you are eating the small snack, you are already looking up recipes on Pinterest for the next snack that you are going to have.


7. Vegetables. Disgusting.

Let's face it, the only thing green that you have been eating are those green M & M's and the mint flavored ice cream. People around you actually feel disgusted by how much junk you have eaten in the past couple days. They force you to get some sort of substance into your body. And it is awful, every single second of it.


8. And then they are like "You are on a healthy streak, you can't possibly go back to eating more sweets."

"Think of the delicious veggies that you just ate!" But who the freak cares? This is my body and it is going through lot of pain, and I am losing a lot of blood. I am shedding the lining of my uterus for God's sake. Let me eat this damn cupcake.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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