Trust issues. Daddy issues. Just plain, old issues. Whatever your contention is, there may be a more in depth reason for these problems than what appears on the surface. Our parents are the first human interaction we receive. They teach us how to speak with others, how to be a friend, how to be polite and respectful and overall shape our personalities. It's the old argument of nature vs. nurture and I'm saying that nurture definitely has an emphasis on the people we become. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" and "Johnny see, Johnny do" are just a taste of the endless sayings attributing to the nurture dispute. As vague and vanilla as these sayings are, the underlying truth of them are more than valid. If Johnny's father cheats on his mother then Johnny may be more inclined to cheat on his future spouse. Conversely, if Johnny watched how his father's promiscuous habits affected his family, he may vow to always be faithful and nurturing to his future partner.
Seeing double
We've all heard before that we date our parents. If you're a woman, you are likely to date a man who has similar qualities, characteristics and even outward appearance as your father. We are more inclined to choose a significant other that are similar to the parent with whom we have the most unresolved issues. Basically, if Daddy neglected you and diminished your success, you will try to find acceptance, praise and attentiveness in your partner -- even when it's not there.
We accept the love we think we deserve
One of the most accurate quotes that explains relationships to a T. If we have high self-esteem, self-worth and self-love, we will receive what we think we deserve. Having respect for yourself, entails a partner to give you that same respect and if they don't -- you have the confidence to kick them to the curb.
The sad but true flip side of this quote, we have low self-esteem, self-love and self-worth, we will stay with someone who treats us poorly and is a jerk, simply put.
As said previously, this can all be thanks to the fact that Mom called you chubby as a kid and teased you about your clothes being too tight, Dad never said he was proud of you no matter how many trophies were on your shelf and both of them constantly reminding you of that one time you got detention instead of recognizing the countless 4.0 GPA report cards you brought home.
Stage 5 Clinger
You may have heard this one before -- hopefully you were the one saying it, not being called it. We all know someone who meets a guy (or girl) and is immediately obsessed, constantly talking to, about, texting, calling, trying to see, etc, etc, etc. Well, once again, you may have Mom and Dad to thank for this one as well.
This phenomenon can be explained by the Attachment Theory. It all starts from the moment we're born -- if our parents are nurturing, loving and attentive the outcome is a secure, loved, confident person. If the parents neglect or separate themselves from the baby, the outcomes can vary from clingy and insecure to distant and a loner.
