The 5 Stages Of Clingers
Start writing a post

The 5 Stages Of Clingers

Bring awareness to this often overlooked social reality.

The 5 Stages Of Clingers

We’re all familiar with the term, “five stage clinger." We’ve heard it in movies, and you’d probably be lying if you said you haven’t used this term yourself at least once or twice. The term, “clinger,” is most often applied to women, however, contrary to popular belief, guys are some of the worst culprits. But, what exactly constitutes a five stage clinger? And what about the four stages before that? Well, I’m here to spell it out for you nice and simply.

Stage 1: Too good to be true.

This person typically exceeds all expectations for the first night out together. They buy you drinks, get you water before bed, and even have breakfast ready for you when you get up in the morning. Is there a reason they’re trying so hard?

Stage 2: Excessive compliments.

This is when you receive an, I had a great time with you last night, you’re such an amazing person, text directly after leaving your house the next day. But it doesn’t stop here. A stage two is someone who goes back and likes all of your old Instagram photos, and you can always count on them to be the first “beautiful” or flame emoji comment on your posts. Too much too soon, man.

Stage 3: Persistence.

This is where things start to get a little weird, so you try to casually blow them off and make excuses for you not being able to hang out, text back, etc. However, a stage three doesn’t take no for an answer. They come up with solutions to your “schedule conflicts," and are infamous for sending double and triple texts. Another key characteristic, and huge red flag, are the future plans a stage three will make, such as beach trips, nights out in Portland, and -- wait for it -- a weekend trip to their hometown. S.O.S.

Stage 4: Ambush.

By stage four, you are most likely doing everything you can to avoid this person. However, during this stage, they will likely start showing up places unannounced. They (somehow) know your work schedule, and never fail to stop in to visit when you’re stuck behind that counter. They religiously check your snap story, and you can always count on them to show up to that party that you RSVP’d to via Facebook. Remind me -- what constitutes stalking, again?

Stage 5: Emotional outburst.

This is an alarming stage, because before now, you didn’t even realize emotions were much of a factor in this very casual relationship. You’ll receive texts and voicemails such as, What’s been going on? Are we okay? Did I do something wrong? Followed by the overly apologetic, I’m really sorry I just really like you and I really want this to work, so please message me back. And in some extreme cases, Hey, I have something for you… I don’t know where you’ve been so I’ll just come by your house and drop it off and hopefully you’ll be home. See you soon. I’m sorry. Umm, newsflash -- gifts are only cool a few months into a relationship, not during the beginning awkward stages. You’re being creepy. Bye.

I truly believe that defining the five stages of clingers is essential in bringing awareness to this often overlooked social reality, so I sincerely hope this helps. If, for some reason, you identify with any of these five stages, please take a quick second to reevaluate your game. And if any of these strangely resemble that person you’ve been talking to recently, you have my full permission to hit the ground running -- far, far away.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments