In honor of International OCD Awareness Week, I decided to come out of the shadows and share my story. I have been struggling with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder for the past five years and through sharing my story, I hope to spread awareness about the disorder. The term "OCD" is tossed around so lightly these days that I want to remind everyone that OCD is a disorder. It is more than just being organized; it is more than being pleased by things that are color-coded or lined up by height. OCD is not quirky or fun; it’s not something that people enjoy having or like to show off. I have been embarrassed by it and its debilitating effect on my life for the past five-plus years and as a result, I have only ever told two people outside of my immediate family.

OCD is incredibly debilitating. It consumes the sufferer’s life. A person with obsessive-compulsive disorder is suffering from a disorder in which they are haunted by obsessive thoughts day and night, sometimes even in their dreams, that force them to do compulsions that are extremely frustrating, anxiety provoking, and time consuming. The worst part is that the sufferer consciously knows that these behaviors are ridiculous, but their OCD brain tricks them into thinking that there is real danger and that the only way to fix it and ensure that nothing bad happens to them or the people they love is by doing the compulsions. The compulsions are typically repetitive actions that range from tapping, knocking, and counting, to excessive hand washing and other ritual behaviors. The sufferer hates doing these compulsions and longs for the obsessive thoughts to leave them alone. It is not quirky or fun in any way. I spend hours of my days battling with obsessive thoughts and compulsions. In the past five years, I have seen three different therapists who specialize in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the only proven treatment for OCD which consists of ERP (Exposure Response Prevention) in which the sufferer exposes themselves to their greatest fears and refrains from performing the compulsions that typically follow in an attempt to relieve the anxiety they are feeling. I have tried three different medications, one of which was helpful but the others caused more unwanted side effects than relief, so I let that ship sail. I can honestly say, however, that although I am not cured of OCD I am now in a much better place than I was two years ago as I continue down the road to recovery.

OCD affects 1 in 40 adults and 1 in 100 children, so if you are suffering from OCD know that you are not alone. Although it is a chronic condition and there is no cure, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help tremendously and can get you to a place where you can live a happy, symptom-free life as you learn to recognize and manage certain thoughts as OCD thoughts. It has been scientifically proven that a person with OCD’s brain actually looks different than a person without OCD’s brain, so if you are suffering, there is a biological reason that is related to a chemical imbalance in the brain; you are not just weak. In fact, those who live with OCD are incredibly strong. A person with OCD does normal, everyday things that people without OCD do, such as going to school and work and socializing with friends, while constantly dealing with obsessive thoughts and compulsive urges.

I want to spread awareness of OCD because I feel that it is very misunderstood by the public. I have heard way too many people claim that they are “so OCD” because they like their notebook organized. These people don’t realize that OCD is so much more than that so I don’t blame them for their comments. I do ask, however, that if you don’t really suffer from the debilitating disorder that is OCD, think about those whose lives are consumed by obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors that give them through-the-roof anxiety before making such a comment about your desire to organize your papers. You never know who is around you. It's not always outwardly visible when someone has OCD, because they are often embarrassed by the obsessions and compulsions from which they suffer, and work hard to hide them when in public.

I hope that everyone will do their part in helping to spread awareness for OCD. If you have OCD, you are not alone, even though it may feel like you are at times. After five years, I have finally come to terms with the fact that OCD is a part of who I am, but I have also learned so much about it and realized that one can have OCD and still live a happy, symptom-free life once they learn how to manage it. As I have been so personally affected by it, the cause is very dear to me and I thank you for taking the time to read this article and hope that you will join me in spreading awareness of the disorder. I am always available to talk if you or anyone you know suffers from OCD, so don't hesitate to reach out to me.