If you've spent some time on Tumblr, Instagram or any other social media site beloved by teens, you may have come across something like this:

A cute, fluffy, pink-bow-laden reminder to take care of yourself. Doesn't seem so bad, does it? In fact, it's fairly sweet. But after seeing countless numbers of posts, gifs and photos like these, I've admittedly grown tired of them. Sure, sometimes a soft blanket and cute cat are what you need to feel better. But most of the time, at least for me, self-care is not that simple.

Despite what the Internet may have you believe, self-care isn't always kind. It isn't huddling down with soft things to watch your favorite movie, or eating nothing but cookies and chocolate because "you deserve it! uwu." Self-care means taking the time to do what is best for yourself. Self-care means getting out of the bed you've barely left for the past few weeks and taking the shower you've been avoiding. Self-care means eating something besides stale cupcakes and pizza. Self-care means forcing yourself to do what needs to be done, to clean the house and go get the groceries and exercise, even if those are the last things you feel like doing. Self-care is not kind or soft or gentle; it is realizing that you cannot just put your life on hold forever and wait to feel better. One or two days here and there is fine, but you cannot lose weeks and months and years of your life to soft blankets and movies and junk food. Those are temporary fixes; they make you feel better now, but do nothing to improve your life in the long run. In order to fix thing permanently, you have to start getting up. You have to face whatever demons are holding you back and let them know that your life is yours and they cannot continue to take it from you.

This is something that is much easier to say than do. The bad days will not stop coming because you have decided you don't want them. True self-care is realizing that covering up a bad day in chocolate and kittens so you can pretend it didn't exist is not the solution. True self-care is doing the things that are hardest. It is standing up and facing a bad day and refusing to let it drag you down. Because even though you are doing the things you want least in the world to do right now, in the end you have still picked yourself. You have given yourself the cleanliness, energy and responsibility to live your own life. You have taken care of you.

Self care is not simple. It is not always gentle or soft or kind. Sometimes, we need those kind days, but more often being harder on ourselves to do what we must is what we really need. Self-care means looking at the big picture and realizing when you've cut yourself enough slack. It is realizing that the world isn't stopping to wait for you. It is anything, but easy.