An Open Letter To The "Friends" I Tried Too Hard For

An Open Letter To The "Friends" I Tried Too Hard For

Maybe I'm crazy. Who knows. But this is how I feel.
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My biggest problem has always been putting too much faith in people too quickly, seeing everyone as a potential friend. When I do start to notice myself having not-so-great thoughts about someone, my mind goes into hyperdrive, fiercely trying to shut them down, or find a way to justify them. Or, worst of all, I look for reasons to blame myself.

No, no--it must be you. There's something wrong with you, not them. Why are you being like this?

So I tend not to realize when someone is actually hurting me.

And now, once again, I'm finding myself emotionally drained, full of frustration and resentment because my efforts to be what I thought you wanted--what I thought you needed--the best, most-caring friend I knew how to be, seem to have gone unnoticed.

I could find plenty of reasons to think highly of you people when we first met. I haven't forgotten those thoughts. They've just changed, and I don't see the point anymore in pretending they haven't. Because in my eyes you have changed. In a way, I feel betrayed. What happened to the people I first got to know? How do you not realize that you've destroyed the image I built of you in my head? Of course I understand people change. But too often, in my experience, "changing" is equivalent to not making as much of an effort.

And sure, maybe my efforts haven't been totally obvious. This is where I feel like I'm being a little unfair. But I've suffered. I've gone back and forth and back and forth with myself trying to figure out if it was okay for me to ask certain questions, to say certain things, and then watched you offer up that information to other people like it was nothing. I wanted to know because I cared--too much, clearly. But you made me feel like I shouldn't care. Time and time again I bit my tongue when I felt like I had important things to say--and why, to keep the peace? You certainly never apologized to me for disturbing my peace. I let things go that I was really not okay with. I stepped way out of my comfort zone and tried very hard to do something that is objectively difficult to do. I sat back and watched things that went against everything I stood for happen. I was careful not to act too entitled, to keep myself in check because I wanted to be liked, and didn't want to give you anything to use against me. And I wanted you to see that. But you couldn't. Maybe I can't fault any of you for that and this frustration I'm feeling is invalid. But it just feels a lot better than being sad. I'm just sos tired of that.

So no longer will I tag along with other friends like a stray puppy just to get to spend time with you, while wondering why you can't be bothered to invite me personally. Or wonder why you seem to treat me so unfairly. No longer will I make a conscious effort to change my opinion of any of you; it just isn't worth it. No longer will I put up with these constant feelings of inadequacy, of needing to try harder. No longer will I put up with words or actions that are damaging to me--whether or not they're directed at me. And most of all, no longer will I put up with the general unfairness of the whole situation. I don't see any reason left to try. I'm just...done.

You may like me. You may think of me as a good person. You may even think of me as a friend and be completely taken aback by this. But if there's no proof, if you're not showing me that you feel that way, then all of that becomes meaningless. You have to show that you care. And you've proven to me in many ways that you're incapable of doing that. I'm sick of being the one who always cares more about other people than they do about me.

So don't expect to see or hear from me much anymore. Consider me gone. It's time for me to move on, and live the life I want and deserve, with the people who make me feel good about myself. Enjoy yours.

Cover Image Credit: Fable Feed

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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Why I Will Never Choose A Boy Over My Best Friend

I have made this mistake in my past and it turned around to bite me in the ass.

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In the past, every time that I would get a new boyfriend, I put my best friend on the back burner. In my head, it seemed logical.

I was more than wrong.

Here's how it would play out every time: I would date a boy, think I was in love, but then have no one to talk about it to, because I ditched my best friend too many times and now she wants nothing to do with me. That is understandable.

My relationship with that boy would go through a rough patch and I would have to bottle it all up, because I ditched my best friend too many times and now she wants nothing to do with me.

That is understandable. Finally, my relationship would end and I would be left with no one, but myself.

Your best friend is your best friend for a reason. It seems as if putting a significant other over your friend is occurring quite frequently these days. Not just with girls who are friends, but also boys who are friends. But since I am 100% female, this is what I think:

Your best friend hypes you up into catching feelings for a new boy.

Your best friend is there for you when you are your new boy get in your first fight.

Your best friend tells you when to stop going back to a certain boy.

Your best friend listens when you don't listen and go back to a certain boy.

You best friend holds your hand when you're crying over the dumbest shit.

Your best friend answers your FaceTime calls when you get back from a date you didn't tell her about.

Your best friend forfeits sleep to listen to your "I am tired of being treated like shit" rants.

Your best friend has been there way longer than a boy that you just met.

Stop treating her as if it's the other way around. Thank her for never giving up in your "I am done with him" scenarios. Thank her for loving you no matter what you choose to do. Apologize to her for you making her a second option/choice.

Sure, this article would be different if you had been with the same guy for years. I know there comes a point in life where you need to focus on your intimate relationships and start your life. But that is not what this article is about.

Your best friend will always be there for you when a boy cannot be.

You need to realize that before the most important person in your life is gone.


"How do you lose a woman?" -Mr. Mosby

"You forget to cherish her.." -Cody, from Suite Life of Zack and Cody

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