As someone who has recently battled with a heart condition, I know firsthand how life-changing one prognosis can be. A little over a month ago, I was diagnosed with a heart condition that causes my heart to beat very fast when my body is at rest. Because of this, after an episode I feel like I just ran a marathon because my heart basically pumped like it did. Of course that leaves me with symptoms like dizziness, fatigue, chest pain, and just being tired overall. Since my diagnosis, my life has changed drastically in many ways. However, I am so grateful for the many people around me who have been so supportive through this whole process and have exemplified compassion to me in so many ways.

I wrote this open letter to someone who is in pain just like I am. My battle with my own hurts has opened my eyes to those who are suffering around me, and just how I can have an impact on them.

Here are six ways I promise to be present in your pain.

1. I’ll ask how I can help. Sentences like, “How can I be here for you?” “What can I do?” and “What would make your day better today?” will be ever on my lips. Not only will I ask you how I can help, but I’ll actually show up. I’ll be there. I will follow through with my promise, however big or small it may seem.

One of the big ways my friends have been present for me and helped me through this season is by saving me a seat in chapel. The loud music at the beginning of chapel sets my heart episodes off, so my lovely people would save me a seat so I could come in after worship. Even that seemingly small and odd need took care of so many of my anxieties associated with my new reality of living with my heart condition.

2. I’ll follow up. I know that sometimes the loneliest times of your struggle come in the weeks after your prognosis. You won’t become “old news” to me, and I’ll never get weary of checking in on you. I know you have to walk this out, and I won’t leave you to walk alone.

The most meaningful words that people spoke to me were often weeks after I told them what was going on. Knowing people hadn't forgotten about me was huge.

3. I’ll validate you. What you’re going through is very real. I won’t tell you that your situation could be worse or try to lessen the importance of your pain. I know statements like that will not help you recover. Instead, I promise to spend my time validating what you are going through.

I have been struggling with this heart condition for over six years, but I was misdiagnosed a long time ago, so I literally came to a point where I thought my brain was tricking me with fake symptoms. It was such a relief for a doctor to tell me that I wasn’t crazy and my symptoms were very real.

4. I’ll make you laugh. I know laughter really is the best medicine. I will be somber when needed, but I will lift your spirits with laughter when you need it the most.

One of the many ways I deal with pain is through humor, and even joking about my heart condition brought such relief to my mind. My personal favorite was “you make my heart flutter.” Gets me every time.

5. I’ll forgive you. I know you don’t always feel like yourself. You’re going through so much physically, emotionally, and spiritually, after all. I know that you can’t contribute much right now, so I promise to focus on giving to you instead of expecting something from you. This season of your life will pass, and one day you will be back to your old self. But for now, I promise to be adaptable and full of grace.

My energy level is really unreliable, and sometimes I have a hard time making it through a day without crashing. I’m not always going to be able to make it to events that I originally promised to be at. Those who are quick to forgive me and understand show me what true compassion looks like.

6. I’ll sit in the ashes with you. This situation sucks. We both know that’s true, and I’ll be candid with you about the reality of your pain. I won’t try to explain to you why I think this is happening to you, but I will dwell with you and support you through this time. I won’t encourage you from a distance, but instead, I will stick close to your side and comfort you.

I love the story of Job in the Bible. Job had everything taken away from him, and when he was sitting in the ashes of everything that had fallen apart, his just friends joined him there. I found so much more comfort in someone who was willing to sit and listen to me rather than try to have a solution for me.

Don’t worry, friend. We will make it through this time together. I’m rooting for you, and you’re going to be OK.