Dear the Person I Was Before I Learned How To Forgive,

I cannot remember the last time you actually were able to say to yourself that something wasn’t your fault. When the man who physically hurt you and mentally abused you did the things he did, what did you do? When the woman who took her own life and the last words you said to her were “I hate you and I never want to see you again”, what did you do? You blamed yourself when you had no control over that woman taking her own life, or why that man hurt you. When you were assaulted at 7 years old, whose fault was that? Not yours! The more that happened to you the more you blamed yourself and where did it get you? I know it hasn’t always been the greatest for you but it made you who you are today. All of these events took a lot out of you and broke you down till you thought you had nothing left to give. The times that you allowed yourself to forgive all those people so you could be happy was well worth it. You can smile today and feel free from all the instances you have held on to that made you so angry. If you would have never allowed yourself to forgive you where would you be? You would probably be in a very bad place mentally and possibly in jail. The amount of anger and rage you had stored up inside you would have come out in ways you can only imagine because of how unpredictable you were. Your family has gotten closer to you because you have allowed them to. Since you have been able to forgive yourself for the things you had no control over you have allowed yourself to be loved by your family. You have allowed yourself to be loved by a man who now you are carrying his child. You know in your heart that he won’t hurt you like the others but in the back of your mind you are still cautious because of your past. You have allowed yourself to grow while forgiving those who have hurt you and over the things you can’t control. Be proud of yourself because you did it!

Sincerely,

The Woman I Am After Forgiveness