Dear Anxiety,
I am writing to inform you that you will no longer have control over my life. No longer will I lay bedridden, too nervous to face the world. No longer will I let you hold me back, day after day, from being the person I want to be. No longer will you take my friends away, one by one. No longer will I let you seep into my mind and ruin my relationships and then pin it on me. It has been a not-so-pleasant three years with you sitting inside of me like an itch I cannot scratch. I am happy to say, that I am done with you. I know you will put up resistance, I know that you will fight me, I know that it will not be easy. You see, I have loved with you, and I have lost with you, and I have come to the conclusion that you are toxic.
That being said, I do need to thank you. You have shaped me into the careful, cautious person that I am today. You have instilled a fear of failure in me that pushes me to my limits. You have told me, time after time, that no one will love me, and in starting to believe that, I will forever be cautious about who I let into my life. I would not be where I am right now without you, and I do not know if that is a good thing, or a bad thing. I will not know that for quite some time. I have my regrets, but who doesn't?
To everyone reading this article, to everyone who followed my rambling mind, I have something to say to you as well. If you love something, or someone, do not let them fall through your fingers and slip away. Do not let anxiety consume your judgement and stop you from living the life you want. Take a stand with me, right here, and right now, to fight back in the war that is mental illness. Fight back with everything you have, cherish those who are important to you, and pay attention to the crafty ways anxiety will try to come back into your life. We are finite. Don't let your whole life become shaped around the monster in your head.
- Lexi
