Disclaimer: Sensitive souls, turn away. The content within this article may offend and enlighten in ways that some brains aren't yet capable of comprehending.
Hi boys, how are we doing today? Great? That's fantastic. Not great? Well, I hope this piece of light reading will brighten your day! I'd also like to acknowledge my female friends who have all come out to have a good little relatable giggle! You ladies know exactly what's about to be said.
However, boys, you might be a little more confused at this point, and I know your attention spans can be a little short... so, essentially what this entire article is going to say is sometimes girls just want sex, too. Ah, yes, a wild concept I know. It seems as though a lot of you think that a girl can't possibly sleep with someone without developing an immediate emotional attachment, and, dare I say it, becoming obsessed! So, I'm here to shed a little light on the situation. Give a little insight, if you will, so we can all live harmoniously together in this beautiful world.
Now, first things first: this is NOT an attack on boys. No boys were meant to be harmed in the reading of this article. Before we all get a little too sensitive, we're here purely for fun, informative purposes.
With that out of the way, here's where we get to the good stuff. I feel like the easiest way to explain the inner workings of the situation at hand is to just walk everyone through a scenario. See, we usually just see the scenario from our side. But friends, I'm here putting in the hours, doing the hard yards, conducting the research, and slaving away behind a keyboard in order to enlighten you all on an opposite perspective. So, strap in, hold on, keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times, we're about to get craaazzyy informed up in here.
So, let's set the scene. Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. I don't really care who meets who, it's not essential to the story, but they've met. Now, this could be any kind of relationship, maybe they've randomly met at a bar for the first time, maybe they had mutual friends and knew of each other but never spoke, maybe they've hung out a few times and were both feeling a little bit bored and said, "You know what? Fuck it." Whatever the situation, we all know what happens next. We're all on the same page so far, right? Well, I hope so, because if you haven't been able to keep up to this point, I'm sorry to say, but you're seriously going to need to reconsider your options before you continue reading.
This is where it seems to get a little bit confusing for some people.
Let's skip a few days ahead. And let's switch from the above dual perspective to a solely female perspective. So, it's been a few days, her friends know about what happened and they're all on board with it happening again. Not because of any kind of obsession, let's not jump there just yet. Rather, because girls actually do like sex, too. Now, I'm not sure about boys, but I know as a girl, after I've slept with someone once, it just becomes a bit easier. Not calling anyone easy, what I mean is that once it's happened once, it's just a bit more comfortable. As is human nature, we all tend to like comfortable. What often goes hand in hand with comfortability, I hear you ask? Ah, well that would be everyone's best friend, convenience.
Convenience, really, is the key to understanding this whole situation.
Time to get back on track. She's told her friends, they're all on board with a tap twice situation. So, what does she do next? She pulls out her phone, opens a form of social media, or maybe text message. I don't know her, I don't know how she communicates. But the point is, she opens a form of communication. Now, this could take hours of deliberation, or it could take seconds, but she sends a message. Usually, it's something along the lines of "Hey, what are you up to?" Maybe, "Hey, you going out tonight?" Essentially, what this message is saying is, "U up?," if you know what I mean.
So, this. This is where we all tend to get a little confused. Get our knickers in a knot and our panties in a twist.
This seems to be the point where you boys will see this girl's name come up on your phone and be like, "Oh God, we slept together once and now she's obsessed with me." Honey, all she wants is to t-a-p-t-w-i-c-e. She is literally offering herself up on a silver platter and you and your inflated, yet immensely fragile ego, are essentially cockblocking yourself.
Now, that's not to say you want to sleep with her again. Because not everyone does, that's fine. But don't brush it off on the obsession card.
Instead, just say some form of the magical word n-o. But chances are you could both want the same thing, but some weird idea of gender stereotypes has made us think that girls just can't have sex without an emotional connection.
Don't get me wrong here, there's nothing wrong with emotions, it works when everyone's on the same page. But I feel like the message we need to start spreading is that it's also OK to keep emotions out of the picture. We need to stop acting like sex is always this intense experience that we need to be emotionally prepared for, and start accepting the fact that sometimes, sex is just sex. For both parties.
I mean, do we even have a name for a female version of a fuckboy? Wonder Whore? Penis Princess, maybe? I don't know, I'm open to suggestions.
Well, I think that's it from me today. I feel like we've grown closer in these last couple hundred words, don't you? Not even just you and me, my dear reader, but, potentially, we may have grown closer as humankind. One step further in uniting men and women in this battle we like to refer to as life. I do hope I haven't offended anyone here, and if I have offended you, is it possible you didn't read the title?
Because if you're sat here saying, "I've never said anything about a girl being obsessed with me." This article simply wasn't meant for you. Its literally addressed to boys who have played the obsession card. But, I guess it's too late now, I don't get to decide if I've offended you or not. So, I am sorry (but you should've read the title).
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