“A mother is she who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else can take.” Cardinal Mermillod
Dear mom,
I miss you. As I sat in the hospital stroking your fingers, as you did to mine so often when I became anxious, I felt your presence over me and I knew you were gone from this earthly world but not absent from my spirit.
I could not cry for my loss because I know this is what you needed even if it was not what I wanted. I have thought about you every day since you left us. I have missed your laugh, your smile, your complicated order at Chili’s. I miss your charismatic presence and your patient soul.
I lost you too young and was never able to show you the change I made in my life for you and for myself. I grew up! I am in school and I am succeeding. I am not dating losers and I am attending church and you would be so proud of the woman I am growing up to be because I am growing up in the size five footsteps you set before me to follow. I have come to peace with the fact that you are gone but I have never come to peace of how I left us in the air. I knew your time was coming and I knew I had to say goodbye but I could not and would not speak those words to you.
You have never really left me after all. I feel your hand on my shoulder when I walk into church and I see your presence on a warm, sunny day. You are always with me and I know this with all my heart. I have lost a motherly presence in this world but I have gained an angel to watch over me and keep me safe until I join you at last. You have taught me grace, patience, forgiveness and honesty and I have tried to use these lessons to better myself without your ever present remarks.
Isaiah 41:10 says “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” This has taught me to look to God for my strength and answers now that I have this huge void to fill. I have gained so much courage and fortune through God and his word and I know he is with you praying for me on this unbelievably complicated journey that we call life.
I know you see me succeed and love and lose but you are holding my hand and are omnipresent for all my trials and accomplishments. I have decided to live a richer, fuller life though Christ and all the lessons you have shown me. I will continue to grow and mature in your footsteps and learn from all the good you produced in your short life. I love you and am so proud to be yours. I am impatiently waiting to see you again.
With all my love,
Your daughter.
