Dear You,
No one will ever be able to fill your spot in my heart. You were the first person I ever trusted, first person I ever really opened up to, the first person I actually knew what it was like to be in love with. Not only were you the other half of me, you finished my sentences, knew exactly what I was thinking without saying a word, never judged me for being myself, and never ever failed to make me smile even in the worst of times.
I just want to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for making me realize how strong I actually am. Thank you for giving me the best 10 months of my life even if it was an emotional rollercoaster. Thank you for putting me before yourself and for always making me feel so special. Thank you for showing me that I am capable of loving someone so much that I would put them before myself. Thank you for all of the things you taught me and for making me the happiest I have ever been. Most importantly, thank you for showing me the true meaning of the word love.
Next I want to say, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for letting you down and for betraying you. I’m sorry for the lies, the fights, the mistrust, and for the heartache. I just want you to know that I never ever meant to hurt you and I never meant to be disloyal to you. The lows of our relationship pushed me to a very, very low and dark place. I loved you with my entire heart and all of my soul and all I have to say is that im sorry I didn’t show it more. I should have. You are worth so much and had such a high place in my life and im sorry that I let you down.
You were by my side through everything; the lowest of the lows, the highest of the highs and every single place in between. I was so comfortable with you. You knew me better than I knew myself and there was nothing I couldn’t tell you. You were the male version of me. I trusted you with everything. You always knew what to say, and what to do. Even when we were screaming and hated each others’ guts, I’ve never felt more passion towards a person. When I told you I loved you, I meant it. You made the world spin and my heart beat. I had no idea what I would do when you left because I had built my life around you. Even the most normal daily tasks were reminders of memories and each day that passed just got harder instead of easier.
Almost a year later, all I can do is reminisce on the good times. I can no longer hurt over the things I did, and wish I could just go back and make it all better. It took me this long to accept the things I cannot change and wish you nothing but the best. No one will ever be able to take the place in my heart that you had. You drove me crazy and made me fall head over heels all at once. I keep all of the memories close to my heart and remember that no one understands my jokes like you do. No one will ever understand our love for little ceasars pizza and that putting on singlets and wrestling each other in the living room was a daily occurrence. You saw me at the worst of times and still loved me unconditionally and I hope that even though it ended so badly, you can smile at the good times.
Thank you for all that you’ve done, and I’m sorry for everything I cannot fix.
A heart never forgets your first love.
Sincerely,
Your Princess
