You and I haven’t been on the best of terms lately, but these problems between us are not all my fault. I am willing to admit that I haven’t done the best job of taking care of you. You have to see that you haven’t exactly been there for me either. Without each other, we are nothing. We have made it this far, but things are going south real quick here. If we are going to last any longer, we need to have a talk.
Maybe I haven’t made the best decisions recently. I know that I have been stressing you out by waiting until the last possible second or even past deadlines. I know that I haven’t been helping you out by filling my schedule every day and not leaving any time for just the two of us. When you aren’t okay, I try to help, only to end up forcing silence on you the second anyone else has a problem. I shake and push and press you for positivity; just to replace it with second-hand darkness.
Maybe that is why you are always sad. Because you need to let it all out. Just the same as when someone who never fully rests is always tired. Maybe you just need a nap. Maybe I need to accept that you can’t change anything until I do. There are a lot of changes I want to make and I am willing to make them. Please understand that I am struggling. Now more than ever I need your help and support. If I am going to help you, you need to help me too.
Do you think I can get work done when you zone out throughout half of the day? How am I supposed to keep up my friendships when you unleash anxiety that makes me unable to talk to people first or try to make plans? You need to lighten up here. These are things that I just cannot fix on my own. You need to motivate me and get me out of bed. Allow me to pursue my interests, or at least let me be interested in things again. Don’t tell me to love myself and then fire whispers at me laced with insults and bad memories. I try to be okay with things that are pointless to get upset about and you make a big deal out of nothing.
I know It gets in the way of us being happy together. I know it would be so much easier if there weren’t any outside factors to worry about. But we are stuck with It. With the darkness. It consumes us both. We can’t give up. If we stop this fight then it wins. There is always a better day to fight for.
There is always someone who can keep you going. We can find it again. I found for you the boy whose eyes showed you there would be better days. I once held someone who taught you how to break free. When I looked at the stars, you felt like you could reach them. When I walked against the currents you felt as if nothing could push you back. We are a pretty good team. We will get through this. We always do. I will try to help you and I hope that I will receive the same in return.
