How Hozier Shined a Light on Domestic Violence

How Hozier Shined a Light on Domestic Violence

Open Hand or Closed Fist Would Be Fine

Everyone wants to find that rare, unique love that's "sweet as cherry wine" but before you indulge yourself in a relationship, make sure you look deeper into the other person and how they behave around you rather than just a taste of their personality. Andrew Hozier-Byrne had written the song "Cherry Wine" to use his fame to speak out about the effects of domestic violence in today's society. He paired up with #FaceUpToDomesticViolence campaign who gave him over 20 organizations that protect domestic abuse victims that he donated all proceeds off of this single. After finding out the statistics of one in three women and one in four men being victims, Hozier decided to take a stand that is somewhat obvious but has a much deeper meaning when analyzed.

If you have not seen the video, watch it here:

This song is written in the perspective of a man being abused by a woman, the video is in the perspective of a woman being abused by a man. It shows an apparently loving relationship full of smiles and affection until the woman takes off her makeup before bed and reveals a black eye which her lover then kisses.

Even if you have not seen the video, the lyrics are bound to pull at your heart strings. Hozier speaks about how his mother expresses her concern about him being in a bad relationship but he refuses to acknowledge it. He speaks of the ice in her words and how her anger burns like "rum on a fire". The next thing he goes on to speak about is how "her fight and fury is fiery, oh but she loves like sleep to the freezing" alluding to the initial abuse burning but eventually you don't end up feeling the pain.

The most powerful lyricism expressed in this song by far is the chorus where he justifies the abuse because he has never had a love so sweet and how he's lucky to have her anyways. The chorus goes, "It looks ugly, but it's clean. Oh momma don't fuss over me. Calls of guilty thrown at me, I'm all but washed in the tides of her breathing. But I want it, it's a crime... open hand or closed fist would be fine. The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine." If you take a look into the meaning behind the lyrics as experiences rather than just words, you get into the mind of an abuse victim. They know that the wounds are there and unappealing but they think that they can handle themselves without help. Though they know that they don't do anything wrong, they can't help but feel guilty or ashamed when their abuser gets angry. However, no matter what happens, they are addicted to the love they get.

Whether you or a loved one are in this situation, it is important to know that nothing is the victim's fault. There is so much more to cutting off an abusive lover than just leaving as it may not be safe. If you are in this situation or know someone that is, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. If you are concerned about yourself or a loved one, you can also visit to find local resources, information, and statistics.

Cover Image Credit: Brilliant Nurse

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.

Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.


Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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15 Ways To Support Your Military Significant Other

The military is not like any other job.


15 ways to support your significant other in the military. Being a MILSO is terrifying, lonely, and frustrating. Here are some tips to get by. YOU GOT THIS!

1. Understand that they will be busy

The military is not a 9-5 job with a lunch break. It could be drill or deployment, remember that they are going to be busy. He/she might not be able to call every night, text you, or answer your texts in a timely manner. They are busy, you should stay busy too.

2. The military is not a job, it is a lifestyle 

Unfortunately, you cannot pick and chose when you are a military spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. You are expected to act like a MILSO 24/7. You should support them 24/7 and be a listening ear when needed. Your SO does not have a normal job.

3. Become independent


You will be away from your military significant other for days, weeks, months, or even a year+. This is overwhelming and exhausting. But think of it as an opportunity for you to gain independence, work on your own dreams, and become the person you want to be!

4. Trust, trust, and more trust

Do not take this one lightly. Being a significant other, in any relationship, means trust. You have to believe that they mean what they say. You have to trust them when they cannot answer your texts or calls. Believe that they are doing is important and you can wait.

5. Prepare for deployment

Personal photo

Unfortunately, this is a very real side of being a MILSO. You never know where and when they are going to leave or for how long. Welcome to the roller coaster (;

6. Do not date them for the benefits 

The job is done because they love their country and want you to be safe, not for the military pay or benefits. It is not glamorous, or worth it just for the health insurance! Do it because you love them.

7. Become a support system

Personal Photo

Support them every day, through words, actions, and reassurance. This job is not easy. Do not be pushy with details. Let your significant other come to you when they are ready.

8. Lean on other MILSOs

Because nobody says you have to do it alone.

9. They are missing you too

Just because they are busy does not mean they are not missing you. Not only do they not have you, but they also do not have their house, bed, family, or even their own country at times!

10. If you have children, be prepared to become both parents 

I, personally, do not have children. However, growing up in a military family, I had my mother play my father role. It is scary but it is possible. Do not expect to be perfect.

11. Be flexible 

When I first started this journey, I thought, "It is the military, when they said he will be home at 6:00 pm, he will be home EXACTLY 6:00 pm!" I could not have been more wrong. FLEXIBILITY IS KEY!

12. The military isn't closed for the holidays

Personal photo

They will not be home for every holiday, every birthday, or every plan. Plans are made to be changed. Nobody can control the military or its timing. Be prepared to have Christmas in January.

13. Be proud of them 

What they are doing is not easy. It is scary, stressful, exhausting, and time-consuming. They are doing it because they care. Show how proud you are of them.

14. Hug them...all the time


Appreciate the time you have together. It means the world to both of you.

15. Send packages, letters, texts, ANYTHING

They are looking forward to what you have to say. After their long day, they want to see your texts and packages. Make their job a little more tolerable.

Good Luck, fellow MILSOs! YOU GOT THIS

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