What’s it like to have the game you fell in love with end? Where do I begin?

You know that saying, “I feel like a piece of me is missing”? or, “My heart is missing a piece.” Well, that’s what it’s like. These aren’t exaggerations anymore.

I fell in love with the game when I was hmm.. four? Sure, I didn’t know it at the time, but T-ball just wasn’t as interesting as the real deal. Even though my little self may not have known it, my heart did.

What was the best part of it all, was that my dad was always my coach. Best coach I could have ever asked for. The guy knows everything about this game, and I can honestly say I learned from the best. Seeing the people that have played for him over the years and thanked him for his intelligence made me so proud that he was my dad. How lucky am I to have learned the game I love from the person that knew it the best? Thank you, Dad.

A lot of people ask me why I didn’t continue to play in college, and honestly, there are a multitude of reasons. First off, after going through being diagnosed with Celiacs, I lost a lot of muscle, and fell behind every other high school junior trying to get somewhere for softball. Am I upset that happened? Absolutely. My dream was always to play in college. Another reason is since then being diagnosed, I have had one too many injuries, and once again my body fell behind. We soon realized I was more prone to injuries than most girls because the disease made me weaker. By the time senior year rolled around, it was too late. Not only was it too late, but I had to make the difficult decision in not continuing to train because of the risk of hurting myself once again. Those of you that know me well enough, or have played with me know how true this is in that I am ALWAYS injured. I could be walking down the hallway and boom… I tore something. It just became that easy.

Looking at old travel pictures or reading old newspapers hits me hard. If there’s one thing I miss more than softball, it’s my teammates. They helped me be myself and we always had the best times together. I still look back on some funny moments and laugh out loud to myself. Thank you for making these the best years of my life.

What’s it like watching from the stands? Ah, it’s painful. I’ve definitely turned into my dad in that I call plays and pitches in my head, get mad at close calls, check out swings and the mechanics of defensive plays, and my favorite sound will always be a composite bat against a ball. Hit that ball just right, and the sound is more than beautiful.

I’d do a lot to be able to put my gear back on and have my usual chat with the home plate ump, and call pitches again. But, as sad as I can get, I always seem to remember how happy this game made me. I’m so appreciative that my parents started me in T-ball, and then later EYB, and beyond grateful my dad took the step in starting a travel team. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart to everyone that supported me in doing what I loved for 10+ years. This game means the world to me. Do I want to make a comeback? Heck yeah I do. But the real question is, will it actually happen? Well, I guess we’ll just have to see for ourselves.