Sometimes it seems as if I cannot remember a time where there wasn't a nagging feeling in the back of my head or a weight pressing down on my shoulders. Young adults are slammed with heavier burdens, more responsibilities, and exponentially growing pressure that never slows or ceases. It takes a toll on you. Anytime you feel yourself giving in, breaking down, or approaching desolation people will tell you, “Stay strong,” or “You are fine,” or “It could be worse.” I am here to tell you: It's okay to fall apart; it's okay to talk about your problems; it's okay to feel weak, or miserable, or unmotivated; it's okay to feel. Sometimes you are NOT okay...and that's okay.
The Feels
Lack of Motivation. I've been there. When your alarm goes off in the morning and you think, "If I miss this class what's the big deal?" Then one class turns into three classes and one episode of Gossip Girl turns into five and one cookie turns into six and skipping the gym for one day turns into skipping the gym for one week and you hate yourself for it. It's okay.
Feeling alone. Dozens of friends, hundreds of companions, plenty of instagram likes, unceasing FaceBook notifications, constant invitations to engage in social events...and yet you feel alone. You feel like no one gets it, no one gets YOU. It's okay.
Being burned out. The easiest way to describe this feeling is the moment you ask yourself, “What is the point of all of this?” Red, flashing warning sign: you are burned out. You may think you are an energizer bunny, but even those things are not everlasting. The brightest flames burn the fastest (or something like that) but I know firsthand how terrifying it is when you think you're just going through the motions and have lost your passion for any and everything you have committed yourself to. I promise...the passion is still there, you just need to find some lighter fluid. It's okay.
Being homesick. Whether home is 20 minutes away or 20 hours away, being homesick can hit us all like a train. I've been away from home for three years now and I still get slammed with the overwhelming desire to drive down the back roads of my hometown, call up an ex bae, fall asleep in my own bed and wake up to mom's coffee cake. You cannot pack up and head home every time that urge hits you, but it's okay.
Being afraid to express weakness because you pride yourself on being the one who has it all together (I think this should be my twitter biography). I will never listen to my own gospel in that positive rewards come with outwardly expressing emotion, but I at least recognize that if you are feeling weak or vulnerable...it is okay.
Feeling incompetent. This is the big leagues. You may not always be the best in your class or the one who sets the curve or the one with the best ideas or the first to offer a solution or the most attractive in the room or the one who nails the interview. You are surrounded by people who very well might be better than you. Use that as motivation, as incentive, as inspiration. Feeling incompetent should only challenge you to be better than you were yesterday. It's okay.What Can You Do? Awesome. We have addressed that we all have deeply rooted issues, now what? It seems like everything your feeling has no solution, but there's always a way out.
Stay organized. This is a thin line when you are feeling overwhelmed. You need to get back on track, but you cannot use organization as a distraction from all of the crap you need to get done. Spending one hour making a perfect list of all the things you need to do does you no good when that hour could have been spent accomplishing things on said list. Be efficient.
Find something to look forward to each week. It's easy to look forward to Coachella, or your road trip this summer, or your 21st birthday. But what about the little things? Stop wishing away time and find something within each day, or each week that you are excited about.
Do what makes you happy. Easier said than done, I know. But in the chaos of it all...among your duties, responsibilities, obligations, and commitments, you need to cut away the things that do not bring you immense joy. If you cannot cut out those things (trust me, I know working 35 hour weeks on top of a full course load will never bring anyone immense joy) the least you can do is make time for thing that DO make you happy. Read a book, go on a hike, make a collage full of baby animals, learn how to surf, find the time for what's really important: your happiness and overall well-being. Everything you are doing, and everything you are working for will mean nothing if you hit rock bottom before you have a chance to peak.
Change things up. If you don't like where you're headed, stop heading that way. Whether you think you picked the wrong major, got hired for the wrong job, dived head first into the wrong path, remember that we are 20-something and life is just beginning. Quarter-life crisis are all too real, but there is time to change. Do it now.
Remember why you started. Think back to when you opened that acceptance letter, or declared your major, or applied for that position. What was running through your head? What has changed since then, you? Or the circumstances? Don't be afraid to ask yourself those hard questions. Before you can consider quitting anything, you have to first remember why you started.
Ask for help (Whether it's professional, from a mentor, a peer, a friend, or a family member). Anyone reading this is probably laughing out loud because I am the single worst person on planet earth when it comes to asking for help. I still advise it because, contrary to popular belief, we do not have all of the answers. Asking for help is going to do more harm than good, and lift some of the weight of the world off of your chest so you can finally breathe.
