It is November 9, 2016 and this morning the air was different.

The prior morning, I was running on hope. I had hope that this country will not be ruled by fear and ignorance. I had hope that our changing ideas and our diversity will rule the majority opinion especially among my generation. I had hope for my generation, first time voters, would stand up against racism, and sexism and all other -ism. I had hope that Americans were not that blinded in hatred and stupidity.

I had this hope as I went to vote for the first time, believing that by the end of the day American will have their first female president. I had hope. And I was shot down. My hope was shattered the moment Clinton had no way of winning the election. As my social media was blasted by friends, whose parents or themselves are immigrants, are scared to death of this outcome. As I read Muslim Americans becoming too scared to wear their hijab in public. Gay couple’s dreams crushed and women’s voices sipped. I became scared for the next four years with him in the office.

Everything I know that is morally good will be changed. From views of fearful Americans who don’t appreciate the country’s greatness for equality. I am ashamed to call myself an American. And before the hateful splutters arise to send me back to Mexico (which by the way I was not born there), let me say it won’t affect me. I know my rights. And I have the right to be here and pursue my education.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not scared.

And for those stating we would be worst off with Clinton…well it could be true. Now we won’t know. She isn’t perfect and I don’t whole heartily with her…she has common sense. Logic, manners, and she won’t send the country to World War 3 or Civil War 2.

But Trump will. He’s that guy. I fear for the boys in my life who could be drafted and sent to war.

I fear my future as a minority and as a woman.

I fear for an increase of rape and harassment and statements saying it’s the girl’s fault.

America, a place of opportunity for everyone, became the laughing stock of the whole world. And now the nightmare for Americans with common sense.

It’s November 9, 2016…and America has changed. For the worst.