I'm not someone's second choice.

I Am Not Anyone's Second Choice

I'm not just here as your last resort.

76
views

I always see those inspirational quotes/pictures going around on social media about how it's okay to cut toxic people out of your life. For the longest time, this wasn't something that I related to at all. I had my friends and I didn't have any problems.

But throughout my time in college, I've had people in my life that I realized only cared about me when it was convenient for them.

This has proved true in my relationships and friendships. I never really realized it until I started thinking more about it, but since I was younger, I've always been taken advantage of. Like I've said before, I have such a big heart and I always forgive people, even when they don't deserve it.

Most of the relationships I've been in, I came away feeling like I was just being used. I also had a friend that made me feel like that way as well. All of these people only reached out to me when everyone else wasn't available. They only reached out to me when they just didn't want to be alone, and they knew that I would text them back, hang out with them, be there for them.

It got to the point where these relationships all made me feel like I was just people's second choice. Like they didn't care about me unless they had no one else to hang out with.

But I'm not anyone else's second choice.

I've finally gotten to a point in my life where I've realized that I do have toxic people in my life. And I've finally come to the realization that I have to cut those kinds of people out.

I'm not the kind of person to say that I'm any better or any worse than those around me, but I definitely don't deserve to be taken advantage of or used. No one deserves that.

And I'm not going to be treated like that anymore because I'm not a second option. For anyone.

Popular Right Now

If You Don't Respect The Relationships Of Others, It's Clear That You Don't Respect Yourself Either

No person who is truly happy and confident would try to interfere with two people who are happy together.

940
views

To women who knowingly make advances on men in committed relationships,

I understand. You want a relationship. It is simply human nature to crave love and wish to give love in return. However, what I don't understand is looking for love in a person who has already found love in someone else.

You see him being a gentleman and treating the woman he loves with the chivalry she deserves. You can tell how madly in love they are and you can't help but feel jealous, realizing that he has all of the qualities you look for in a man. You can't control your thoughts or feelings.

However, what you can control are your actions. When it comes to interfering with a relationship, you cannot just assume you will not be held accountable for the things you say and do in an attempt to tear two people apart. In a world of 7 billion people, there are no excuses to make advances toward someone in a relationship. None at all.

It does not matter if you've known the person for years. It does not matter if you've dated before, miss the connection you used to have, and are looking to reconnect. It does not matter if you're drunk. Save the heart-eyed emojis and "I love you"s for someone else.

https://unsplash.com/photos/_XR5rkprHQU

Flirting with someone fully aware of the fact that that person is in a relationship is flat out disrespectful to all parties involved and will result in one of two outcomes.

Maybe you will get the reaction you want and the man will go behind his girlfriend's back to be with you. Or, if he respects the woman he is with, he will be honest with her and cut you out of his life because of your lack of respect for the relationship.

If the man ends up betraying his girlfriend, you may think you won him over. While this may feel like a victory at first, karma will come back and bite you. It always does.

The way you win him is exactly how you will lose him. If he'll do it to her, he'll do it to you.

https://unsplash.com/photos/irVfITbMJZw

Thankfully, there are men in the world who will stay loyal and refuse to let other women come between them and their significant other. However, the blatant disrespect on your part is still evident, even if the relationship is strong enough to remain unaffected by the drama you cause.

You might think that spilling your undying love to the man you've been crushing on is justified. However, if he is with another woman, it is best to keep those thoughts to yourself, especially if you have any type of friendship or basic respect for either person in the relationship.

Put yourself in the woman's shoes. Would you want another woman, especially an ex or friend, messaging the person you love flirty paragraphs of admiration? If you wouldn't want it sent to your significant other, do not send it to someone else's significant other. It's that simple.

The thing about boundaries is that once they're crossed, it is hard for things to ever go back to the way they were before. Once you show disrespect to a relationship, neither partner will trust you again. Are your impulsive texts worth ruining your reputation and potentially hurting others?

Respect boundaries. Respect others. Respect yourself.

Everyone deserves a happy relationship. If you really respect yourself, you will recognize that nothing healthy or loving can come out of another person's sadness and betrayal.

Sincerely,

The woman who wishes you could have been more considerate before hitting "send"

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating
Facebook Comments