My parents were never, never have been, and probably never will be rich in terms of money, but they've managed to build a life for themselves and my brother and I as if money has never been a problem.
They always have made sure we had the things we needed, and often times even the things we wanted but that were not necessary. When my brother and I would accompany my mother to the grocery store, one or both of us almost always begged for Oreo cookies or brand name cereals. My mother made a point to pick out the generic brands of the cereals we chose, and made it known to us that things like Oreos would be treats once in a while instead of a weekly shopping cart item.
When I hit the stage in my life where I would look through toy catalogs and get my heart set on things, my parents made it clear that I would most likely have to purchase those things myself. They helped me set up lemonade stands multiple times, to acquire a little bit more money than my allowance consisted of if the item I desired was particularly pricey.
" If you want something," my dad would always say, "you have to work for it. Nothing gets handed to you on a silver platter."
So that concept was embedded in my brain from a very young age. Unfortunately, as I got older, I grew more and more disturbed as I continuously realized that not many other kids were raised with the same idea. As a result, my friendships have tended to be with people raised similarly to the way I was, and I've almost developed a hostile, frustrated attitude towards those who never learned it.
When it came time to buy a car, I worked a variety of jobs, and a lot of 15 or 16 hour days to be able to pay for mine myself. When I told that to one of my privileged friends, her response both scared and saddened me. "I'm glad my parents didn't make me do that!" she said. "They just bought me mine."
That is entitlement, and that is dangerous.
Sure, my friend thought she had won that one, because she got to take the easy way out. But in almost every aspect, I think I got the better end of the deal. I learned how great it felt to finally be able to purchase something I had worked long and hard for. I was proud of it. And more importantly, I had learned that things like that don't come easy at all, and I shouldn't take anything for granted.
When you have everything handed to you, or done for you, you miss out on learning a lot of important lessons. You then have to go out into the real world, often still unaware of how difficult things really are to make happen or make possible.
I would never want anything handed to me on a silver platter.
I want and I need to get my hands dirty.
