There Is No Longer A Need For Feminism In America

There Is No Longer A Need For Feminism In America

I don't subscribe to the ideals of modern feminism and that should be okay.
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That sentence alone may have your blood boiling.

Allow me to clarify. I understand that in America’s past, we as women did not have the right to work, vote or join the military. I am extremely grateful for the women who precede me for suffering oppression in order to make it so that I am allowed to join the military, vote, or go to work, if I so choose.

Most feminists will stop me right there and say that because I am glad I have the right to these things that that makes me a feminist. But no. Perhaps in 1910. But now? I am decidedly not a feminist. To expand on this, I will point to the Bible. I know that some readers will not accept the Bible as a legitimate source but, nevertheless, it is my main reason for not classifying myself as a feminist. In the beginning of Genesis 2 God created Adam. Man. He breathed life into dirt and this created the first human. A human who had physical abilities, intellect and emotions. After this creation, God created Eve — a woman — from Adam. This woman was meant to mother Adam’s children. This woman also possesses intellect, physical abilities and emotions, just like her male counterpart does. But God did not create them to be the same, He gave them both very different natural abilities.

There should be no confusion on how families and marriages are meant to be structured. God lays it all out for us in many different places. Ephesians 5 says this:

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church — 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” — Ephesians 5:22-33

God could not be more clear about how He has created family structures to be. Women must submit to their husbands because he is the head of the house and husbands must love their wives, as God loves the church. The Bible clearly states that women not only can submit to their husbands but that they should. He states that by doing this you are honoring the Lord.

Proverbs 31 illustrates the role of a woman perfectly. I spend every day of my own life striving to be like the “Proverbs 31 woman.”

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” -Proverbs 31:10-31

God tells us exactly how He wants women to live their lives, so that we never have a doubt in our mind whether or not we are honoring Him. Men and women were not created to be equal. We were created biologically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally different. We are all here to serve a different purpose and were all blessed with different spiritual gifts. We are all here to expand the Kingdom using the abilities that we were given. God doesn't say that women can't be opinionated, strong-willed, intelligent or hard-working, but he does tell us how we should be using our gifts, and our gender for the expansion of His kingdom.

Beyond my religious beliefs, I have so many problems with second- and third-wave feminism. Of course, I see the need for feminism in third world countries where there is serious oppression going on, but there is no longer a need for feminism in America. We are so blessed to be treated as equals to our male counterparts in this country. We have the ability to vote, to drive, to work, to stay home, to do whatever we please so long as we aren't breaking the law. So why are there so many women in this country that claim we are oppressed? The current movement of third-wave feminism is one that stems from hatred and it's a group of extremists. Acts like "SlutWalk" and "free bleeding" are not acts of freedom, their acts of self-righteousness and they aren't good ways to honor your body. And the "I drink male tears" T-shirts are not a cute look. They make it seem as though you lack empowerment, respect and intelligence, even if the goal is just humor.

I feel so lucky to have the rights that I have, and I'm glad that I have access to the same things as men in this country, I have no reason to feel oppressed, and neither do you. When I tell you that I am excited to be a wife and a mother someday, I shouldn't get the scoff and eye roll that I do. "You mean you want to stay at home?" "You mean you're okay with being treated like a housewife for the rest of your life?" "You don't want to work??" Obviously I wouldn't be going to college if I didn't have some sort of career goals for myself, but when God decides that it's time for my husband and I to start a family, I will be more than happy, in fact, I will be ecstatic, to stay home and raise them while my husband brings home the bacon. My God gave me the spiritual gifts of maternal instinct, patience and tenderness, as well as the ability to bear children, because He wants us to bless this earth and be fruitful (Genesis 1:28).

Feminists, when I say I’m not a feminist, try to not be so condescending. Don’t shake your fist at me, or try to argue about how I could possibly not be a feminist and how maybe I don't understand what feminism means, because I understand and I hear you loud and clear. I don’t think we should be equal, I think we were made to live for God in very different ways. Please try to understand, that my belief in not being a feminist is my own, and not every Christian feels the same way as me, and understand that you don't need to try to convert me, because our goals in life are different. My goal is to do what pleases the Lord, and do it in whatever way I think that is. I want to live my life for God, for my husband, for my family and for those around me, in any way that I can.

Cover Image Credit: Vek / Flickr

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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Why The Idea Of 'No Politics At The Dinner Table' Takes Place And Why We Should Avoid It

When did having a dialogue become so rare?

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Why has the art of civilized debate and conversation become unheard of in daily life? Why is it considered impolite to talk politics with coworkers and friends? Expressing ideas and discussing different opinions should not be looked down upon.

I have a few ideas as to why this is our current societal norm.

1. Politics is personal.

Your politics can reveal a lot about who you are. Expressing these (sometimes controversial) opinions may put you in a vulnerable position. It is possible for people to draw unfair conclusions from one viewpoint you hold. This fosters a fear of judgment when it comes to our political beliefs.

Regardless of where you lie on the spectrum of political belief, there is a world of assumption that goes along with any opinion. People have a growing concern that others won't hear them out based on one belief.

As if a single opinion could tell you all that you should know about someone. Do your political opinions reflect who you are as a person? Does it reflect your hobbies? Your past?

The question becomes "are your politics indicative enough of who you are as a person to warrant a complete judgment?"

Personally, I do not think you would even scratch the surface of who I am just from knowing my political identification.

2. People are impolite.

The politics themselves are not impolite. But many people who wield passionate, political opinion act impolite and rude when it comes to those who disagree.

The avoidance of this topic among friends, family, acquaintances and just in general, is out of a desire to 'keep the peace'. Many people have friends who disagree with them and even family who disagree with them. We justify our silence out of a desire to avoid unpleasant situations.

I will offer this: It might even be better to argue with the ones you love and care about, because they already know who you are aside from your politics, and they love you unconditionally (or at least I would hope).

We should be having these unpleasant conversations. And you know what? They don't even need to be unpleasant! Shouldn't we be capable of debating in a civilized manner? Can't we find common ground?

I attribute the loss of political conversation in daily life to these factors. 'Keeping the peace' isn't an excuse. We should be discussing our opinions constantly and we should be discussing them with those who think differently.

Instead of discouraging political conversation, we should be encouraging kindness and understanding. That's how we will avoid the unpleasantness that these conversations sometimes bring.

By avoiding them altogether, we are doing our youth a disservice because they are not being exposed to government, law, and politics, and they are not learning to deal with people and ideas that they don't agree with.

Next Thanksgiving, talk politics at the table.

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