30 New Year's Resolutions I'm Tired Of Hearing

30 New Year's Resolutions I'm Tired Of Hearing

New Year, SAME You.
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You might think that New Year's resolutions are great. They hold us accountable, help set goals, and push us to be better. Unfortunately, I don't like them. Don't get me wrong, there are some people out there that set meaningful resolutions and follow them throughout the year. If you're one of those people, then congratulations! I respect you immensely. But to be completely honest, most people aren't those kinds of people. Yes, it's great that you're at least attempting to better yourself, but who says that you have to wait until the new year to make a change? Why don't you make a change when the timing is right for you?

Maybe you didn't meet your goal because of bad timing or maybe it's just because you gave up. Regardless of the reason, I'm tired of these generic goals being set at the beginning of each year just for them to fizzle out after a few months.


1) "I'm going to start eating better."

No one cares about your disgusting salad, Karen.

2) "I have workouts planned and I'm going to exercise regularly."

Yeah, let's see how long that daily Kayla Workout lasts for you.

3) "I'm going to stop going out so much."

We all know you can't resist free cover and vodka cranberries.

4) "It's time that I prioritize my studies and get better grades."

C's get degrees.

5) "I'm going to stop procrastinating."

You say this as you binge watch another episode of The Office.

6) "I'll start applying for internships."

You. Are. Lying.

7) "I need to make sleeping a priority. I'm going to get 8 hours of sleep a night."

You at 3am:

8) "I'll stop being so negative."

Alright Negative Nancy, whatever you say.

9) "I'm going to stop being so messy and get more organized."

You haven't done the dishes in 11 days.

10) "I'm going to settle down and get into a relationship.

Sit down, cuffing season is over.

11) "It's time that I go through my closet and get rid of things I don't need."

You never know if you'll need that shirt for a special occasion.

12) "I'll put my phone/computer down and get off social media. I need to enjoy real life conversations."

But did you see what Black Chyna tweeted about Rob?

13) "I'm going to tell people how I feel."

No, just no.

14) "This year, I'm going to travel more."

Please tell me how you'll be funding these trips.

15) "I'm going to start dressing nicer."

Actually, you're going to wear leggings everyday.

16) "I'm going to save my money."

You're a broke college student getting paid minimum wage.

17) "It's time that I let go of old grudges and forgive the people who did me wrong."

No, you're still mad.

18) "I need to appreciate the people in my life and tell them how much they mean to me."

Let me know when you accomplish that.

19) "I'm saying goodbye to soda."

So you're just going to drink vodka waters? Seems great.

20) "I'm cutting him off. I'm done trying to contact him."

You after one day:

21) "I'm going to apologize to everyone I've hurt in my life."

Just kidding.

22) I'll start taking more risks and start being more spontaneous."

Dang, you must be like REALLY reckless.

23) "I'm going to stop watching so much TV."

You weren't saying that when you watched 8 episodes of Game of Thrones last night.

24) "I'm going to learn to cook."

No, making eggs and toast doesn't count.

25) "I'll volunteer and give back to the community."

All you did was have a photo shoot at the one volunteering event you went to.

26) "I'll go to church every Sunday."

No, you'll sleep in.

27) "I'm going to help the environment."

But you take hour long showers everyday?

28) "This year, I'm going to spend more time with my family."

Yeah, real quality time.

29) "I'm going to love my life."

What does that even mean?

30) "I'll start reading."

Reading tweets doesn't count.


Cover Image Credit: shutterstock

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To The Me I Was In Middle School

For showing me how to love, how to be the best version of myself, and how to be me, thank you.
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Hey, Middle School Me,

Wow, has shit changed. Physically, emotionally, socially, everything has changed. The once boy-dressed, emo-looking, social-climber middle schooler has flourished into a thriving, loving, thoughtful college student that is paving the way for her future. As much as I hate thinking about how you looked and the way you acted, you were a huge part of making me who I am today. So, thank you.

Thank you for making me the loud, outgoing, passionate person I am today. Without your fearlessness to be who you are, I wouldn’t be here today.

Thank you for teaching me to always give it your all, regardless of the consequences of doing so. Without you, I wouldn’t have had the desire to want to be a member of the Executive Board of some of the most astute clubs on campus.

Thank you for being motivated and driven academically and in extracurriculars. Without you, I would constantly crumble to the pressures closely associated with college.

Thank you for finding your voice so young. Without you, I would struggle to be able to convey my beliefs and perspectives on so many controversial issues that plague the Rutgers community today.

Thank you for being fearless and passionate. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to find the heart or desire to want to pursue the degree that I am.

Thank you for always loving yourself at your worst. Without you, I would never be so confident in myself and my abilities.

Thank you for always caring about those closest to you and for always looking out for them. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to put those most important to me before myself.

Thank you for being you. Without you, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

Although so much has changed over the years and I cringe at the thought of my middle school existence, I am thankful for the person that you were during that life-changing, tumultuous time. You have helped to shape me into the person that I am today and taught me lessons that I will take with me for the rest of my life. For showing me how to love, how to be the best version of myself, and how to be me, thank you. I will always appreciate the person that you were. In ten years, I hope to look back at myself in college just as I did now with you.


All love,

College-Girl Sarah

Cover Image Credit: Sarah Hertz

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Stop Asking "Why" And Start Asking "Why Not" Instead

You've got four years to take advantage of a college campus.
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The best advice I got before starting college was to say yes to everything. It's been almost three years since then.

You don't think about it much when you start school. You're so nervous about transitioning into that next stage of life that you let some things pass you by. That entire first semester is about figuring out classes, friends, and that newfound sense of independence.

It wasn't until I got out of the blur that was my freshman year that I realized I hadn't let myself have a chance to explore all these opportunities around me. I remember being in high school and just getting involved in everything that sounded interesting to me. I took every chance I got and was so much happier for it. So why did I spend a year letting so many things pass me by?

Something flipped when I got back to campus for my sophomore year. I decided to say why not. Why not start working for the wrestling team, or join a "Survivor"-based organization, or use university funds to go on a service trip to Oklahoma? I could do all these things that I would end up loving and there was no one to stop me.

As a freshman four years of college sounds long and daunting. I'm now nearing the end of my junior year and it keeps hitting me how short this all feels. We get a four year buffer between living with our parents and having to be a full-fledged adult. That's four years to take opportunities and do things I probably won't have the chance to do after I graduate.

I've gotten to continue working for a sport I love and be a part of a student organization which both have nothing to do with my future career plans. But these two things have brought me people that I know won't be out of my life anytime soon. I'm not going to get the chance to go learn about culture and build ramps in the Cherokee Nation again. I'm so lucky to have gotten to do it twice now.

Everything that I've ended up loving in college has come from just saying yes to that blind leap of faith. I've had all these amazing experiences and met some of my favorite people through this one simple word.

There's so many opportunities being thrown at you in four years. Stop giving yourself reasons to say no.

Just say yes.


Cover Image Credit: Samantha Tremblay

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