30 New Year's Resolutions I'm Tired Of Hearing

30 New Year's Resolutions I'm Tired Of Hearing

New Year, SAME You.
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You might think that New Year's resolutions are great. They hold us accountable, help set goals, and push us to be better. Unfortunately, I don't like them. Don't get me wrong, there are some people out there that set meaningful resolutions and follow them throughout the year. If you're one of those people, then congratulations! I respect you immensely. But to be completely honest, most people aren't those kinds of people. Yes, it's great that you're at least attempting to better yourself, but who says that you have to wait until the new year to make a change? Why don't you make a change when the timing is right for you?

Maybe you didn't meet your goal because of bad timing or maybe it's just because you gave up. Regardless of the reason, I'm tired of these generic goals being set at the beginning of each year just for them to fizzle out after a few months.


1) "I'm going to start eating better."

No one cares about your disgusting salad, Karen.

2) "I have workouts planned and I'm going to exercise regularly."

Yeah, let's see how long that daily Kayla Workout lasts for you.

3) "I'm going to stop going out so much."

We all know you can't resist free cover and vodka cranberries.

4) "It's time that I prioritize my studies and get better grades."

C's get degrees.

5) "I'm going to stop procrastinating."

You say this as you binge watch another episode of The Office.

6) "I'll start applying for internships."

You. Are. Lying.

7) "I need to make sleeping a priority. I'm going to get 8 hours of sleep a night."

You at 3am:

8) "I'll stop being so negative."

Alright Negative Nancy, whatever you say.

9) "I'm going to stop being so messy and get more organized."

You haven't done the dishes in 11 days.

10) "I'm going to settle down and get into a relationship.

Sit down, cuffing season is over.

11) "It's time that I go through my closet and get rid of things I don't need."

You never know if you'll need that shirt for a special occasion.

12) "I'll put my phone/computer down and get off social media. I need to enjoy real life conversations."

But did you see what Black Chyna tweeted about Rob?

13) "I'm going to tell people how I feel."

No, just no.

14) "This year, I'm going to travel more."

Please tell me how you'll be funding these trips.

15) "I'm going to start dressing nicer."

Actually, you're going to wear leggings everyday.

16) "I'm going to save my money."

You're a broke college student getting paid minimum wage.

17) "It's time that I let go of old grudges and forgive the people who did me wrong."

No, you're still mad.

18) "I need to appreciate the people in my life and tell them how much they mean to me."

Let me know when you accomplish that.

19) "I'm saying goodbye to soda."

So you're just going to drink vodka waters? Seems great.

20) "I'm cutting him off. I'm done trying to contact him."

You after one day:

21) "I'm going to apologize to everyone I've hurt in my life."

Just kidding.

22) I'll start taking more risks and start being more spontaneous."

Dang, you must be like REALLY reckless.

23) "I'm going to stop watching so much TV."

You weren't saying that when you watched 8 episodes of Game of Thrones last night.

24) "I'm going to learn to cook."

No, making eggs and toast doesn't count.

25) "I'll volunteer and give back to the community."

All you did was have a photo shoot at the one volunteering event you went to.

26) "I'll go to church every Sunday."

No, you'll sleep in.

27) "I'm going to help the environment."

But you take hour long showers everyday?

28) "This year, I'm going to spend more time with my family."

Yeah, real quality time.

29) "I'm going to love my life."

What does that even mean?

30) "I'll start reading."

Reading tweets doesn't count.


Cover Image Credit: shutterstock

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Dear College Freshmen, Can I Be Real With You?

Positive energy, from me to you.

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First, welcome to your first year of college. I hope you are ready for this new stage in life. This is a moment you and your parents will never forget, so be excited about this, but also be prepared for when college life is not fun.

I am sure you have heard about all the nightmares that can happen in college and some of that is true. You may be stuck with an awful roommate, have impossible professors or make dumb decisions. It is okay if any of this happens. You are human and life will go on no matter what unfortunate events may occur.

However, do not let these events rule your life. You may see some of your fellow classmates use excuses to justify skipping class. This will catch up to them. I saw it during my first year in college. Let me tell you those people were not happy with their results when exam time came.

No one is demanding that you be perfect because no one expects that. Your professors want you to try hard and come to them for help. Your parents want you to be the best student you can be. You should want to be successful because you made a decision to go to college to continue your education.

College will not always be all work and no play. Find a nice balance and be smart about the fun you're having. Go to concerts and college events. Have a couple movie nights with your new besties. Join that club that catches your eye at the involvement fair. The solution to any concerns you may have about alcohol or anything else is to follow the law and school rules. It is that easy, I promise.

The one thing I want you to remember the most is not everyone you meet will be kind to you. Even if this is true, do not allow others to disrespect you. Be the bigger person and walk away because you do not need that negativity in your life. Surround yourself with good vibes and you will be fine.

I hope your freshman year will be great! Positive energy from me to you.

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An Open Letter To My Youngest Self

From, the young adult finding comfort in the past while lost in the present.

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Dear future big person,

Speaking from experience, the world is a crazy place. It's sad, yet exciting to know what the future holds for you. The world has been taken over by devices and electronics most never thought were possible.

If you're wondering why I'm writing to you, it's because I care a lot more now than I did back when I was you. I'm your Marty McFly, here to tell you how to prepare for the future. (Don't ask me what that reference is –you figure it out!).

For starters, let's talk about this technology thing. Gameboys, Nintendo DS', Wiis, Xboxes –don't mess with them. Television is fine –if the people from the Cold War survived it, we can, too. I want you to spend time enjoying the real world, not the electronic, fake one.

I want you to go outside and sit in the grass, pick those dandelions and mash them up into "paint." Paint mom something nice and maybe go for a bike ride with dad. Catch lightning bugs at dusk and bottle them all up in a mason jar. Eventually, let them free, all together.

Your brother is gross and weird, but he actually turns out to be a pretty cool kid. You don't have to be all mushy with him, but be sure he knows you love him. After all, he is family.

Make friends in the neighborhood, even if they are boys. So what? Challenge them. Race them on your bike with awesome purple and white streamers drifting from the handlebars. Push hard, through the soles of your Sketchers covered feet.

Pick up a piece of chalk and create a world of your own world with 3,000 Toys R Us stores, one police station, and only a few stop signs. Create and color your own flowers, whether they actually exist or not. Let your imagination run wild!

Turn on the radio and dance like crazy! Scream the lyrics to Smashmouth's "All Star" and Gwen Stefani's "Sweet Escape." Change the station every now and then to hear something new; it's always interesting to see your reactions to these interesting creations.

I want you to wear what you feel like and don't care what the others say about you. If you want to wear your purple dress-up shoes with your matching purse and hat, then do it. If you want to wear a Hula skirt in the dead of winter, do it (but please bring some leggings so mom doesn't flip out). If you want to wear those bedazzled jeans, then rock 'em.

If you're wondering why I'm telling you to do these silly things, it's only because we lost these traits along the way. I don't want you to miss the experiences that only come from the natural world because you had your head stuck in a tablet; it will all pass you in the blink of an eye.

I don't want you to ever feel trapped inside your house, no matter the weather. There is always a way out.

Don't let other people stop you from getting something you want. Don't let them intimidate you or talk you out of something you are passionate about.

Your friends will be the people you escape to when the house seems inescapable. Treat them the way you would like to be treated.

Your imagination is one of the greatest gifts you'll ever have. It drives you –your hopes and dreams, your wishes in the fountain and your kisses to the dandelions. Don't ever stop chasing them.

Always, always do what you want to do. You sing karaoke to that super catchy song because you know you'll kill it. Wear what you want however you want because you know that you look good in some strange way. (As long as you're not naked, that is). Stubbornness is good.

Your family will always be your family. What they do affects you, and vice versa. Bring them good, positive news. They don't need any more trouble.

Stand up for yourself, for your friends and family, for your beliefs and wishes. Be proud of the work you do and the life you live. Many people around you wish they could have lived like you did.

Most importantly, do not let your past define your future. A lot of things will happen, some of which may or may not go horribly wrong. There is nothing you can do to stop these things, except hope. You can always change for the better as long as you don't look back. Be proud of your past, but be known for your future –whatever you want that to be.

Please, promise me these things. I can't stress enough how important it is for you to never lose these traits –hold them tightly and never release them. I can't tell you how this life is going to go, because that simply isn't the way this world works. Just breathe through it and listen to your gut –that's the future guiding you.

I, and many others, love you –your character, your curls, your studded jeans,your pink Power Ranger costume, your Hello Kitty backpack, and your goofy smile.

Don't ever forget that.

With love,

The Girl Who Is Lost And Trying To Turn Back Time.

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