30 New Year's Resolutions I'm Tired Of Hearing

30 New Year's Resolutions I'm Tired Of Hearing

New Year, SAME You.
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You might think that New Year's resolutions are great. They hold us accountable, help set goals, and push us to be better. Unfortunately, I don't like them. Don't get me wrong, there are some people out there that set meaningful resolutions and follow them throughout the year. If you're one of those people, then congratulations! I respect you immensely. But to be completely honest, most people aren't those kinds of people. Yes, it's great that you're at least attempting to better yourself, but who says that you have to wait until the new year to make a change? Why don't you make a change when the timing is right for you?

Maybe you didn't meet your goal because of bad timing or maybe it's just because you gave up. Regardless of the reason, I'm tired of these generic goals being set at the beginning of each year just for them to fizzle out after a few months.


1) "I'm going to start eating better."

No one cares about your disgusting salad, Karen.

2) "I have workouts planned and I'm going to exercise regularly."

Yeah, let's see how long that daily Kayla Workout lasts for you.

3) "I'm going to stop going out so much."

We all know you can't resist free cover and vodka cranberries.

4) "It's time that I prioritize my studies and get better grades."

C's get degrees.

5) "I'm going to stop procrastinating."

You say this as you binge watch another episode of The Office.

6) "I'll start applying for internships."

You. Are. Lying.

7) "I need to make sleeping a priority. I'm going to get 8 hours of sleep a night."

You at 3am:

8) "I'll stop being so negative."

Alright Negative Nancy, whatever you say.

9) "I'm going to stop being so messy and get more organized."

You haven't done the dishes in 11 days.

10) "I'm going to settle down and get into a relationship.

Sit down, cuffing season is over.

11) "It's time that I go through my closet and get rid of things I don't need."

You never know if you'll need that shirt for a special occasion.

12) "I'll put my phone/computer down and get off social media. I need to enjoy real life conversations."

But did you see what Black Chyna tweeted about Rob?

13) "I'm going to tell people how I feel."

No, just no.

14) "This year, I'm going to travel more."

Please tell me how you'll be funding these trips.

15) "I'm going to start dressing nicer."

Actually, you're going to wear leggings everyday.

16) "I'm going to save my money."

You're a broke college student getting paid minimum wage.

17) "It's time that I let go of old grudges and forgive the people who did me wrong."

No, you're still mad.

18) "I need to appreciate the people in my life and tell them how much they mean to me."

Let me know when you accomplish that.

19) "I'm saying goodbye to soda."

So you're just going to drink vodka waters? Seems great.

20) "I'm cutting him off. I'm done trying to contact him."

You after one day:

21) "I'm going to apologize to everyone I've hurt in my life."

Just kidding.

22) I'll start taking more risks and start being more spontaneous."

Dang, you must be like REALLY reckless.

23) "I'm going to stop watching so much TV."

You weren't saying that when you watched 8 episodes of Game of Thrones last night.

24) "I'm going to learn to cook."

No, making eggs and toast doesn't count.

25) "I'll volunteer and give back to the community."

All you did was have a photo shoot at the one volunteering event you went to.

26) "I'll go to church every Sunday."

No, you'll sleep in.

27) "I'm going to help the environment."

But you take hour long showers everyday?

28) "This year, I'm going to spend more time with my family."

Yeah, real quality time.

29) "I'm going to love my life."

What does that even mean?

30) "I'll start reading."

Reading tweets doesn't count.


Cover Image Credit: shutterstock

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10 Things I Threw Out AFTER Freshman Year Of College

Guess half the stuff on your packing list doesn't really matter
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I spent the entire summer before my freshman year of college so WORRIED.

I also spent most of my money that summer on miscellaneous dorm stuff. I packed the car when the time finally came to move in, and spent the drive up excited and confused about what the heck was actually going on.

Freshman year came and went, and as I get ready to go back to school in just a few short weeks (!!), I'm starting to realize there's just a whole bunch of crap I just don't need.

After freshman year, I threw out:

1. Half my wardrobe.

I don't really know what I was thinking of owning 13 sweaters and 25 T-shirts in the first place. I wear the same five T-shirts until I magically find a new one that I probably got for free, and I put on jeans maybe four times. One pair is enough.

2. Half my makeup.

Following in the theme of #1, if I put on makeup, it's the same eyeliner-mascara combination as always. Sometimes I spice it up and add lipstick or eyeshadow.

3. My vacuum.

https://secure.img1-ag.wfcdn.com/im/d5ea3c03/resize-h2000-p1-w2000%5Ecompr-r85/3021/30217778/Express+6+Volt+Cordless+Bagless+Handheld+Vacuum.jpg

One, I basically never did it. Two, if I REALLY needed to vacuum, dorms rent out cleaning supplies.

4. Most of my photos from high school.

I didn't throw them ALL away, but most of them won't be making a return to college. Things change, people change, your friends change. And that's okay.

5. Excess school supplies.

Binders are heavy and I am lazy. I surprisingly didn't lose that many pens, so I don't need the fifty pack anymore. I could probably do without the crayons.

6. Cups/Plates/Bowls/Silverware.

Again, I am lazy. I cannot be bothered to wash dishes that often. I'll stick to water bottles and maybe one coffee cup. Paper plates/bowls can always be bought, and plastic silverware can always be stolen from different places on campus.

7. Books.

I love to read, but I really don't understand why I thought I'd have the time to actually do it. I think I read one book all year, and that's just a maybe.

8. A sewing kit.

I don't even know how to sew.

9. Excessive decorations.

It's nice to make your space feel a little more cozy, but not every inch of the wall needs to be covered.

10. Throw pillows.

At night, these cute little pillows just got tossed to the floor, and they'd sit there for days if I didn't make my bed.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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I'm Not The Person I Was In High School And I'm Not Sorry I Changed

I'm sorry, the old me can't come to the phone right now.

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If those who knew me in high school hung out with me now, they probably wouldn't recognize me. If my friends from college hung out with me around two years ago, they probably wouldn't recognize me. It's safe to say I've changed... a lot. I definitely find the change to be for the better and I couldn't be happier with the person I've become.

In high school, I would sit at home every night anxiously waiting to leave and go out. Now, honestly, going out is the last thing I want to do any night of the week. While everyone in college is at a fraternity party or at the bars, I prefer to sit at home on the couch, watching Netflix with my boyfriend. That's an ideal night for me and it is exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do a couple of years ago. There's nothing wrong with going out and partying, it's just not what I want to do anymore.

I craved attention in high school. I went to the parties and outings so I could be in Snapchats and photos, just so people would know I was there. I hung out with certain groups of people just so I could say I was "friends" with so-and-so who was so very popular. I wanted to be known and I wanted to be cool.

Now, I couldn't care less. I go to the bars or the parties if I really feel like it or if my friends make me feel bad enough for never going anywhere that I finally decide to show up. It's just not my scene anymore and I no longer worry about missing out.

If you could look back at me during my junior year of high school, you probably would've found me searching for the best-ranked party schools and colleges with the best nearby clubs or bars. Now, you can find me eating snacks on the couch on a Friday night watching the parties through other peoples' Snapchats.

Some may say that I'm boring now, and while I agree that my life is a little less adventurous now than it was in high school, I don't regret the lifestyle changes I've made. I feel happier, I feel like a better person, I feel much more complete. I'm not sorry that I've changed since high school and I'm not sorry that I'm not living the typical "college lifestyle." I don't see anything wrong with that life, it's just not what makes me happy and it's not what I want to do anymore.

I've become a different person since high school and I couldn't be happier about it. I have a lot that's contributed to the change, but my boyfriend definitely was the main factor as he showed me that staying in can be a million times better than a night out. My interests and my social cravings have completely transitioned into that of an 80-year-old grandma, but I don't regret it.

Change doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, it can bring a lot more happiness and comfort. The transition from high school to college is drastic, but you can also use it as an opportunity to transition from one lifestyle to another. I don't regret the lifestyle flip I made and I couldn't be less apologetic about it.

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