For as long as I can remember, I have always depended on others. I’m aware that college is a time of independence and finding yourself, but for me, that process has not been easy. I’m not afraid to admit that. I grew up the youngest of three kids. My sister is seven years older than me, and my brother is ten years older than me. I easily fell into their steps, but I always had something to fall back on, someone to take care of me. It was like I had four parents. They took care of me when I fell down as a toddler, and to this day when I have the slightest problem, my sister’s number is the first thing I punch in.
As grateful as I am for such a loving and supporting family, it does have its pitfalls. It also doesn’t help that I grew up with anxiety issues. As a sophomore in college, I find myself gradually becoming more independent and paving my own way, but I’m still fairly dependent on my parents, sister, and friends. With that being said, while many New Years resolutions will be a pledge to eat more vegetables and exercise more, mine will be more centered on cultivating independence.
To put it lightly, the real world is horrifying. There are a lot of scary things out there, and it makes sense for college students to retreat to familiarity by depending on those whom they’ve depended on for so long. I’ve always been petrified of being alone and completely independent, but I’ve never realized just how much it could help me grow as a person. Independence is not weakness, but empowerment. I want to be able to depend on myself, develop my own coping mechanisms, and find the strength within that allows me to make mistakes and learn from them. Getting out of the groove of dependence may not be easy, but taking small steps toward becoming the person that I want to be is what ultimately counts.
If you have similar goals for yourself, I encourage you to add the desire for independence to your New Year's resolution. If you’ve ever been afraid or see yourself as being too dependent on others, write down a list of strengths that you can identify in yourself. This way, when a problem arises that may make you want to run to the arms of someone else, think of the strengths that you have that will help you solve them. I also want to make it clear that it’s 100 percent okay to ask for help. Asking for help is often a sign of strength, not weakness. We are all human, and sometimes we need others to guide us, or someone to comfort us. We will never be complete lone rangers, but I think it’s important to have a balance between your own sense of independence and the need for others.
So, in the coming new year, try to cultivate your independence and remind yourself that you are capable of many things. Finding yourself and becoming independent may be a process, but the results are well worth the effort.
