Neil Hilborn is a poet and author that has gone viral for his poem “OCD.” His work is often featured on Button Poetry as well as other social media outlets. Neil Hilborn discusses mental illnesses in his writing and delivers these messages in such a powerful and relatable way it’s nearly impossible not to be moved by everything he says. Focusing primarily on OCD, bipolar disorder, and depression, he addresses difficult topics that are often uncomfortable and difficult to really understand for people that do not share the diagnosis. He has said that his poetry is important to him because not only can he express feelings that he often grapples with, but he is able to change people’s views on the biases regarding mental illnesses. Here are some excerpts of his poetry that stand out amongst all of his amazing work:
“Love how you hate yourself sometimes because god damn at least there’s still something to hate.”
“She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her, that this whole thing was a mistake. But how could it be a mistake that I don’t have to watch my hands after I touch her? Love is not a mistake.”
“Whatever you are feeling right now, there is a mathematical certainty that someone is feeling that exact thing. This is not to say you aren’t special. This is to say thank god, you aren’t special.”
“I think a lot about killing myself, not like a point on a map, but rather like a glowing exit sign to a show that has never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave. See, when I’m up I don’t kill myself because, holy shit, there is so much left to do. And when I’m down I don’t kill myself because then the sadness would be over, and the sadness is my old paint under the new.”
“I know tomorrow is going to come because I’ve seen it. Sunrise is going to come, all you have to do is wakeup.”
“We both had parents that believed us when we said we weren’t okay, but mine could afford to do something about it. I wonder how many kids like Joey wanted to die and were unlucky enough to pull it off. How many kids had people had people that cared about them but also had to pay rent? I’m so lucky that right now I’m not describing Joey’s funeral. I’m so lucky that we were able to live through who we were, to become who we are.”
“I’ve been wondering mostly if love and sanity are the same thing. When I say I’m in love, I am also saying that the world makes sense to me right now.”
“Maybe things do happen for a reason, but that reason is stupid.”
“You will never be more wrong than the first time you say ‘I love you.’”
“Since I’m still here, I have to act as though I’m meant to be here. Once it snowed, and it wasn’t that I felt great because I felt awful, but awful is better than nothing. Depression wasn’t an endless gray sky, it was no sky at all.”
