I think that everyone probably has at least one article of clothing that they can’t justify owning other than just saying “well, I need it.” That’s not to say it’s something that would cause you great discomfort to be without like rain boots or a winter coat. No, put simply it’s an emotional need. The kind of thing that when your friends see it they instantly know it’s yours and why you own it. I think that these clothing choices usually have the added bonus of not really being something you can wear seriously. There has to be some form of self-degrading humor contained within or else you have to just be so cool you can somehow pull it off. For example, a celebrity like Kim Kardashian can wear a pair of thigh-high, see through boots with no irony and somehow get away with it. I am fully aware, however, that I am low on the cool spectrum, and must content myself with the more humorous end of things.
The reason I bring this up, is because I have recently purchased my second need item which is nearly as “cool” (ie horrifying) as the first. My first ever need item was actually a gift I didn’t know I needed until I received it. I’m quite a big Liverpool FC supporter and despite being low on kits and not always able to watch the matches, I do my best to show my support. I got a scarf and a jersey which seemed like enough. I was most definitely wrong which I found out in the unwrapping of a Christmas gift last year when I unveiled a Liverpool onesie. I’m fairly certain it’s a children’s onesie just in a very large size because, unlike the actually cool onesies from shops like Onepiece™ that have a bit more of a tracksuit feel, it has the rather unfortunate egg-shape found in most child onesies which inevitably make them look chubby. Chubby isn’t usually the look I aim for if I’m honest. I’m not even sure a celebrity could pull off the red humpty dumpty look (although I’m sure one of them could find a way) so I try to avoid this one in public settings. It is, however, my first need item.
Moving swiftly on, my second need wardrobe staple will soon be arriving in the form of a bomber jacket. Bomber jackets have an inherent coolness about them don’t they, so how could I mess this one up? With a sparkly catch-phrase, obviously. My go-to saying (although I’m really not sure anyone else says it, so that might disqualify it from the label of “saying” but we’ll go with it) is “eye of the tiger, go for the gold.” I got it from a friend on my ski team who used to say it before every race. It rolls off the tongue quite nicely and I’ve found it can be applied to a large variety of situations. So many, in fact, that when I write “eye of” on my phone, it will automatically begin to fill in the rest of the phrase. So, you can imagine my excitement, when shopping online for bomber jackets, I found one that had “eye of the tiger” printed across the back in gold sequins. Again, taking something potentially cool and completely flipping it.
Despite my lack of celebrity chill, I forged on with the purchase, knowing full-well that this would have to be worn ironically. If I’m being honest, some part of me will always hope that I’ll wear it and people will think wow, she’s so cool her jacket says eye of the tiger in sequins! But in reality, it’s much more likely that it’ll be something I wear around my room and deny the public the great honor of seeing just how strange my clothing choices could potentially be.
