I’ve always been very skeptical of the whole idea of Tinder. I have friends, both men and women, who have profiles. I even know people where their relationships have started from just a simple swipe right and a match. I’ve been fascinated with Tinder but apprehensive about it … until a week ago. I gave in and got a Tinder profile, just to see what all the fuss was about and maybe meet someone, or a number of someones.
My first day of being on Tinder was not exactly as exciting as I had conceived the experience to be. My best friend sat down with me, helped me choose pictures to display, write a witty bio and begin the swipe fest. I feel like Tinder is something of an acquired taste. You’ll find different types of people on the app: People strictly looking for hook ups, people needing a rebound from an ended relationship and people who just want to maybe meet someone. I was anxious, but also selective.
Just like with any decision, I was very picky. I found myself swiping left way too often. I felt bad, judging these guys so quickly, yet I didn’t even know them beyond a few words, some mutual friends and three to five pictures. It was such an objectifying position to be in, but it was such a powerful position to be in; to be in control of who I wanted to talk to as opposed to being in public and letting my awkward tendencies mess up my chances, or vise versa.
When I got my first match, I was beyond excited. I thought ‘Wow someone likes me’ when in reality someone just thought my pictures were cute and my bio was witty. But that works fine for me too. I made the mistake of initiating conversation first, my guy friends had told me to wait for the guy to send a message first. I also made the mistake of not really going on Tinder after my first and only match. I just figured I was set! This guy was going to talk to me we’d, go out, get married, I’d have his babies, the end. But that’s not how Tinder, or life, works.
Turns out the first guy I matched with unmatched me not too long after our first few messages. I wasn’t heart broken so much as I was offended, so I did what any rational twenty year old would do and I deleted my tinder account entirely … for one day. I decided to give Tinder a second chance and vowed to be more open-minded. Like most experiences, my second time was much better than my first. Swiping right more often gave me more matches and then more possibilities. Granted, some of the men I matched with were not exactly looking for the same thing I was and I did not hesitate to unmatch with them. But a few guys really set the standard. Take notes boys, these guys were friendly, asked questions and did not make me feel uncomfortable. Complementing and sweet, these guys gave me faith there are men who genuinely just want to meet someone not just for a quick hook up ... unless they are in which case they have great acting skills.
But I tend to doubt it. I went on a Tinder date recently with one of my matches. It was awkward at first, but as soon as we started talking about our interests and found commonalities, everything seemed easier and much less awkward and I had a very enjoyable time. I don’t know if I’ll keep my tinder or not. It has been an interesting week with the app, but I’m an old fashioned person and love the idea of meeting someone in person. Who knows how long it will last but if there is someone out there who enjoys movies, music and mozzarella sticks I’m sure I’ll find someone worth not just a swipe right, but a super like.
