I have been raised Catholic my whole life. As I always like to say, if I was born on Saturday, you would find me in the church pew on Sunday. I went to Catholic school for 13 years, attended a number of religious camps and retreats, and can, without a doubt, recite every line said during a traditional Catholic mass. But after 18 years of this lifestyle, I have finally come to realize that I have made no progress in my walk with God, despite the immeasurable hours spent sitting in those wood pews or the pages upon pages I’ve read in school. No number of historical lessons or dry, guilt-ridden homilies delivered priests have made me feel the love of God in my life. I attend a medium-sized Christian university in West Phoenix and, after only 4 months, have recognized and felt God’s love more than I ever did in the Catholic church. Being surrounded by God-loving people in a Christian environment has allowed me open up about my so-called Catholic life and, subsequently, realize that the Church has not shaped me into a disciple of Christ. The past few months have allowed me to look deep within myself and discover that I need God’s love and saving power more than anything, and the only way I can seek that is by leaving the Catholic Church which separated me from His love the entire time.

One thing I noticed shortly after moving to Phoenix for college is the vast amount of churches. It’s almost like Starbucks in Seattle, you can find one on every single street corner. This gave me the great opportunity to find the perfect church for me when I eventually decided to part ways with Catholicism. I was blessed to have found a church on just my second visit. I knew it was the right one for me. I knew it would be my home and allow me to flourish in my faith. Walking out of the service for the first time, I felt joyful and content; something I never felt walking out of a Catholic service. I always detested mass as a Catholic. From the gloomy hymns to the remorseful homily essentially being told every week that I’m a sinner and going to Hell. Not only did the hour long services feel like days, I was never left with a positive or challenging message on how to live a life of Christ; rather, I was taught to hate more than love. I’ve been taught to hate homosexuals and people of other religions. To hate the divorced. And what I have found most disturbing is how we as the congregation have chosen to accept these teaching from a denomination eclipsed by countless scandals and cover-ups. How could I ever learn from a denomination who has spent centuries defending priests, bishops, and deacons who molest and sexually abuse children and face no criminal punishment, and then has the audacity to tell me that I’m the sinner and the one going to hell. The Catholic church has put priest and others who have made a ‘religious vocation’ on pedestals to make them look as if they are holier than the rest, and I can’t follow a denomination that does that.

Catholicism is a flawed denomination. A religion deeply rooted in history, tradition, sacraments, it has failed to adapt to the changing times. To become a priest, a man would need to attend a seminary for about 8 years and vow never to marry and start a family. And the Church wonders why they have a mass shortage of priests? If the Catholic Church wants to attract more men to the priesthood, they really need to consider getting with the times. 8 years and never having a wife or family is tremendously unfavorable. As a denomination deeply rooted in history, the church needs to make an effort to incorporate women into the faith and the services. It was only in the 1980’s when girls were allowed to act as altar servers and, to this day, women still cannot join the priesthood. Another major flaw in the religion is the material taught in their schools. Since going to Catholic school starting at the age of 5, I learned just about the same material year in and year out. Instead of mentoring and guiding students on how to be a disciple of Christ and what it means to spread the Word of God, we were taught about the history of the Church and its straight-laced beliefs and stances. In addition, the biggest message I got from Religion classes is that if it’s not Catholic, it’s wrong. For years I have been told that Catholicism is the ‘right’ religion and the only one where Salvation is found, and nothing has been further from the truth. In my view, there is no right religion. There is no religion or denomination that God looks more favorably upon than others and to teach anything different from that idea is the most single-minded thing you can teach your people.

I know my road ahead will not be easy, it’s not meant to be. God challenges us daily to take up our cross and follow him. I truly believe it was His plan to send me to Grand Canyon University to grow in my faith and to discover the genuine meaning of God and faith. As I prepare to start my true walk with God, I am hopeful and optimistic that he will illuminate my path and allow me to spread his word of acceptance and love.