For as long as I can remember, life has never been so easy for me, just as it had been for some other kids my age. When I was six years old, I remember having these awful crying episodes late at night, fearing the death of my parents or of my dog. This illogical fear, something I should never have to worry about, crept up on me so suddenly and I was almost inconsolable for an hour at a time. I would sit in my room, thinking of all the things that could go wrong, fueling this negativeness inside of me. At the time, I did not understand why this had happened to me, but at the age of sweet old seventeen, I was diagnosed with Severe Anxiety.
The trouble with anxiety is that almost everyone has it. It comes in milder forms, that can interrupt certain parts of your life for a moment and cause you some discomfort and irrational thinking. Other forms take on this massive role inside of you, almost feeding off of your entire existence. It causes a loss of sleep, motivation, and seems to target you at the worst times possible. Although both types are really something that nobody should go through, that is the trouble with anxiety; once you have seen a small piece, sometimes people believe that they have seen it all. This is NOT the case.
Recently, I have been struggling with anxiety more frequently than usual. Sometimes, my anxious tendencies cause me to doubt the person I am and my ability to get things done. Other times, there is a darkness over me, which paralyzes me from any action I had wished to accomplish that day. It is hard for me to understand these feelings, so I seek an outlet— whether that be music, a long drive, a friend. It is hard to explain these feelings to a person, and even harder to make yourself seem less crazy. We all struggle with our own demons. If you are someone that struggles with nothing, PLEASE contact me, because I would love to know your secret. Although life gets the very best of us sometimes, our grip on life is much stronger than we could ever imagine. Here are three ways to turn your anxiety into something magnificent.
1. Learn to deal with your Anxiety as it comes.
Most of the time, we wish for the feelings of hardness, scariness, or fear to go away, to be pushed out of our lives forever. Dealing with an anxious moment or an attack can be the hardest part of this disorder, so find what makes you, you. Use this anxiety to fuel your existence. Manage it well, and take control over the power it has over you. I have been keeping a journal of my days since I don't know how long. Let me tell you, it has decreased the amount of anxiety in my life by a ton! Beat out these feelings of dismay before they enter your mind, and write it down. Holding things inside of you is no good. I'm sure that you have been told a lot to bottle something up is to let it eat you alive. Get it out of you! It does no good inside. Write for your life, my friend.
2. People will not understand you the way your mom does, so stop expecting them to.
I have struggled with this for a long time, and I have always felt a little more out there than others because a close friend or a relative did not understand me the way I had expected them to. We so often search for those magic moments in movies that prove that our struggles have all been so worthwhile when we find that person that fits us like a glove. Do not wait for that moment, for it so rarely comes. We are the person that fits us perfectly. Knowing this, own your stuff and find pride in who you are! I am that girl that has tried several friends, searched through millions of self-help books, only to find the common advice is to rock you. Think back to that one thing you have not tried. I bet it is loving you. So, love you the way your mom loves you! Cheer yourself on the way she would, and treat yourself as kindly and compassionately as your mom has taught you. We owe a lot to those ladies.
3. Find your missing peace.
Getting lost in the darkness is sometimes inevitable, but I promise you that the light isn't far out. We struggle to find ourselves so that we can say "We made it". If life were easy, there would be no one special. There would be no one like you. All we can be is all that we are. Find your peace in embracing those parts of your life that you shy away from. Those parts of your life that you hide from everyone are the parts of your life that make you who you are. I promise you, that the day you find that urge to accept you, flaws and all, is the day you find you and your missing peace.
