In the past few years, I have experienced isolated panic attacks. I have experienced more than 10 panic attacks that all involve the same symptoms: uncontrollable paranoia, sharp headaches, dizziness, confusion and hysterical behavior.

The panic attacks are out of body experiences; my soul drifts from my body. My mind is very much conscious of what is going on, but my body is left to self-destruct. My mind floats up to space while my body is grounded and forced to deal with the pain.

Although my panic attacks are not consistent, they usually are triggered by extensively high periods of emotional distress. They occurred in several different settings, which often scared me into thinking when I would experience my next one. I often felt guilty and burdened, worried that people would see through my thin line of defense.

As a result of different panic attacks they have put me in the hospital, ended my last relationship, and terminated previous friendships. I hated myself for most of my late teenage years because I was living with something I could not understand. However, for the last year, I have been at peace.

I have learned to accept that being anxious is part of who am I. To conquer my anxiety, I took small steps to improve it. I kept myself busy by doing positive, healthy activities such as running, writing, reading and working. When my mind was occupied towards achieving positive goals, I began to feel my confidence grow.

The last year has been very good to me. However, one day this semester, a cold comment was said to me in passing conversation.

The conversation went like this:

“Hey Danny are you going to the dance light show later?” said my friend.

“Probably not,” I responded. “It is not good for me to be around flashing lights.”

“What do you mean?” said my friend.

My other friend responds for me, and says, “He has issues.”

Normally, this statement wouldn’t bother me. However, to say someone with anxiety has issues is the equivalent of saying someone with Down's syndrome is “retarded.” People who experience consistent anxiety or some scale of mental illnesses do not have issues; rather, our emotions are simply part of who we are.

My anxiety is truly beautiful because it has helped me become an amazing person. I have learned to use my anxiety as a positive and apply it to everyday situations such as school presentations, tennis matches and making new friendships.

Previously, during school presentations, I would become irritable and flustered once I saw the audience. My mind and body would freeze. My anxiety forces me to constantly remember that fear, so I rehearse a speech until I memorize it. This consistent practice builds confidence when I rehearse a topic.

Previously, in collegiate tennis matches, I would become anxious and rush through the game. I lost several matches simply be being too anxious the entire match. I conquered my irritability by learning to go slow and taking my time. I needed the anxiety to appreciate the virtue of patience.

Previously, I was so selfish because I needed to take care of myself before I could help other people. Now that I understand who I am, I have become altruistic and empathetic. I have built stronger connections with people and understand that everyone is struggling with something.