9 Phases Any Student Who Attends A Mumps-Infested University Will Go Through

9 Phases Any Student Who Attends A Mumps-Infested University Will Go Through

The Black Plague or the Mumps? You decide.

Syracuse University has been hit with a mumps epidemic proving very difficult to beat. Strong feelings of paranoia and fear spread across campus. Here are the phases we, as a student body, have experienced while living in a pea tree dish of a mumps-infested university.

1. Denial: Part 1.

When rumors first break that Syracuse University is infested with the Mumps, everyone and anyone laughs at the thought. How could that even be possible? Most of us held a preconceived notion that the mumps was a viral disease only existing in medieval times.

Nope. Additionally, how could any of us contract the mumps, weren’t we all vaccinated prior to our arrival on campus? Yes. Yes, we were. To our dismay, we later find out that indeed the mumps still exists and the virus can mutate to a different strand bypassing the required vaccination.

2. Denial: Part 2.

Students begin to ponder. How could the mumps infest such a well-respected university? There is not a sliver in the realm of possibility that the mumps has infiltrated the bubble on the top of grassy hills of upstate New York that is Syracuse University. Even if the mumps were on campus it’s not like we are a target. We as students decide we will not get the mumps. Our will-power will protect our health and our sanity.

3. Confusion: Part 1.

What are the mumps? What happens to you? How does it spread?

After many google image responses, we discover that the virus gives similar mono-like symptoms except this disease causes one’s face to swell up the size of bowling ball featuring a repulsive looking rash.

The pictures almost resemble a second head growing on one’s face in an unfortunate fashion. The virus is spread through contact of salivary glands as well as kissing. For the wide population of hormonal college students looking to link up with those of the same or opposite sex this was the most concerning of news.

4. Confusion: Part 2.

We received word that the cases of mumps have tripled in an impressive two weeks. Hmm. This is strange. So our school is swarming with the mumps and we are officially vulnerable. Students continue to ponder; don’t we have doctors? If we can send people to the moon we can stop the mumps, correct?

5. Panic.

Similar to the Red Scare, paranoia spreads attached to rumors stating that death upon all and infertility among men is imminent when diagnosed with the mumps. Peers call parents and loved ones sharing the tragic news.

Parents respond with less than animated responses understanding that, no, death is not attached to this virus and that it is very well curable. Young males who fail to accept the news that their swimmers are safe sink into a temporary hypnotic state of depression and despair.

6. Action.

Syracuse offers a delayed step to stop the mumps epidemic by offering free booster vaccinations after the virus had exceeded its infestation cap among persons. Classic. Lines of college kids fill auditoriums waiting to receive the vaccine.

Those who have a phobia of needles are forced to face their fears in a very public setting. To the minority of students who fainted after receiving the vaccination, shake it off. At least you don’t have the mumps… yet.

7. Anger.

The most shocking news since Trump's Election surfaces the community.

The school has now capitalized on the mumps epidemic by using it to cancel all Greek life social events advised by the health department of Syracuse. Interesting. Outraged, angry and somewhat personally victimized, those involved in Greek life are taken aback by such extraordinary measures.

The question of how canceling Greek life events would halt the circulation of the mumps is investigated by students. Is this legal? Are the rights of all students involved in Greek life being violated? What can be done through the court system in order to right this injustice?

Students began protest petitions. Alumni and parents were called to stop the madness. Incidentally, this calamity struck the social scene on Halloween, easily the staple weekend of all social weekends.

8. Depression.

If the student body of Syracuse can’t even party is there a point to fighting the mumps? What else do we have to lose?

9. Acceptance.

We, as a student body, can find other ways to fight the system and the mumps. If we unite as one and wash our hands using soap and warm water, we can and will defeat this infectious disease.

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Bailey Posted A Racist Tweet, But That Does NOT Mean She Deserves To Be Fat Shamed

As a certified racist, does she deserve to be fat shamed?

This morning, I was scrolling though my phone, rotating between Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube and Snapchat again, ignoring everyone's snaps but going through all the Snapchat subscription stories before stumbling on a Daily Mail article that piqued my interest. The article was one about a teen, Bailey, who was bullied for her figure, as seen on the snap below and the text exchange between Bailey and her mother, in which she begged for a change of clothes because people were making fun of her and taking pictures.

Like all viral things, quickly after her text pictures and harassing snaps surfaced, people internet stalked her social media. But, after some digging, it was found that Bailey had tweeted some racist remark.

Now, some are saying that because Bailey was clearly racist, she is undeserving of empathy and deserves to be fat-shamed. But does she? All humans, no matter how we try, are prejudiced in one way or another. If you can honestly tell me that you treat everyone with an equal amount of respect after a brief first impression, regardless of the state of their physical hygiene or the words that come out of their mouth, either you're a liar, or you're actually God. Yes, she tweeted some racist stuff. But does that mean that all hate she receives in all aspects of her life are justified?

On the other hand, Bailey was racist. And what comes around goes around. There was one user on Twitter who pointed out that as a racist, Bailey was a bully herself. And, quite honestly, everyone loves the downfall of the bully. The moment the bullies' victims stop cowering from fear and discover that they, too, have claws is the moment when the onlookers turn the tables and start jeering the bully instead. This is the moment the bully completely and utterly breaks, feeling the pain of their victims for the first time, and for the victims, the bully's demise is satisfying to watch.

While we'd all like to believe that the ideal is somewhere in between, in a happy medium where her racism is penalized but she also gets sympathy for being fat shamed, the reality is that the ideal is to be entirely empathetic. Help her through her tough time, with no backlash.

Bullies bully to dominate and to feel powerful. If we tell her that she's undeserving of any good in life because she tweeted some racist stuff, she will feel stifled and insignificant and awful. Maybe she'll also want to make someone else to feel as awful as she did for some random physical characteristic she has. Maybe, we might dehumanize her to the point where we feel that she's undeserving of anything, and she might forget the preciousness of life. Either one of the outcomes is unpleasant and disturbing and will not promote healthy tendencies within a person.

Instead, we should make her feel supported. We all have bad traits about ourselves, but they shouldn't define us. Maybe, through this experience, she'll realize how it feels to be prejudiced against based off physical characteristics. After all, it is our lowest points, our most desperate points in life, that provide us with another perspective to use while evaluating the world and everyone in it.

Cover Image Credit: Twitter / Bailey

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I Told My Now Boyfriend About My Baggage On The First Date, And It Only Helped Lead To The Second

People can say they can leave it in the past, but it's still your life.


In my five year experience with *real* dating—sorry freshman year relationships that lasted a few months—is that, you really need to be open with your partner.

About everything.

I have some "baggage" as people like to call it that, while I have grown from the situations and am over them, I still carry them with me because they are apart of my life. I don't let them eat away at me day by day. But I will have my days where I'm going to be struck with emotions. When those days come, I always want my partner to be prepared.

So I told my now boyfriend, every little piece of my "baggage" on our first date.

Yes, all the bad stuff that most people probably don't want to talk about? I did on the first date.

I learned that if someone seriously wants to be with me, and for the long run, they should know my past. So I gave it to him on a silver platter. I looked him in the eyes and said I want to talk to you about something serious. After agreeing, I advised him that I had never taken this approach before, that I knew it was really early to bring all of this up, but that I felt it was necessary for him to know before we take the relationship further.

While most people who I've shared these experiences with, it was later in our relationship, their reactions were generally the same. Awkward, didn't know what to say or how to act. It mostly led to a few awkward encounters after that, but nothing further.

This time was different.

He held me after I was done saying every detail and told me "I knew you were strong, but I didn't know you were this strong." No words have hit me like those did. He looked me in my tear stained eyes and said that he was so glad I felt comfortable enough to share that with him so soon. That, he's glad he knows those pieces of me because they are what shaped me into who I am today.

Is my "baggage" rough? Absolutely. Are there days where the memories flood over me and I can't help but let the tears fall? Of course. I'm a human and not every day is going to be perfect. But, sharing that with him, warning him in a way, gave him the opportunity to know how to handle it when those days did come.

So, my "baggage" actually landed me the second date. And not only the second date, but almost a year's worth of dates.

If you want to find that one person, the one you want to share your life with, you need to share the past too. If you share it with them and they can't handle it? That's their loss and your gain. You're onto the next potential candidate. One that will love you for all of you, just like mine does for me.

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